Basically I had a one night stand with a guy off tinder who has since deleted me after we met up. I found out I am pregnant, I am happy to continue the pregnancy and do this on my own.
Has anyone gone through something similar? Did you tell people the truth or just say the Dad doesn’t want to be around.
Also how does this work with child support and FTB, because as far as I am aware saying you don’t know who the father is isn’t enough.
Thanks
59 Replies
Exactly!!
Tracking him down is going to be much easier now than say, 5, 10, 15 years down the track!
Yeah, probably not going to be a simple process but that's a consequence of a choice they both made to shack up with a stranger.
OP needs to stop making excuses and putting something so important in the 'too hard' basket. My partner doesn't know who his dad is and I have a few friends in this position too. It's one thing to know who your dad is and that he chose not to be involved but knowing that your dad is out there somewhere and has no idea of your existence fucks with a person's entire identity.
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How freaking unfair to this kid
Have an abortion, have an std check, book into therapy and have a baby when you’re more mature, healthy and have a partner so your kid actually gets a parent
Well aren't you rude and nasty. Plenty of kids have dad's that aren't in the picture, should we kill them all because it's "unfair to the kids"
Rude and nasty is having a one night stand with a stranger and then bringing a kid into to the world to deal with your mess of a life, gross
How freaking unfair to this kid
Have an abortion, have an std check, book into therapy and have a baby when you’re more mature, healthy and have a partner so your kid actually gets a parent
How freaking unfair to this kid
Have an abortion, have an std check, book into therapy and have a baby when you’re more mature, healthy and have a partner so your kid actually gets a parent
All the advice is all well and good, if (and only if) he gave you his correct first name.
I have no experience with the getting pregnant part to a stranger, but I had ongoing sex with a guy, who lied to me about his situation, his name, almost everything. The only reason I found all this out was because I continued this ‘relationship’ (and I use that term loosely) to find out why he was hiding it all from me. Turned out he had a wife and kids in another state, he was screwing women behind her back. His fake name he used was Andrew, his real name was Darren.
If you can’t find him, you can’t find him, some people will go to extreme lengths to hide who they really are. It’s up to you what you do. Good luck.
Take it from someone who doesn’t know who their dad is this emotionally and mentally will have an impact on your child. I constantly wonder what he looks like if I have siblings etc etc. If you can find the father you should at least give him the choice of being in the child’s life and if not you have his name and last contact details for your child when they are older I wish more than anything that I had that. Good luck
I am, now actually 6 months, and 1 week. During the time the question was brought up I said "I'll take care of it." I don't exactly know how it was interpreted then or how it would be. In case anyone wants to know I did test for STI and all negative. My memory surrounding it is strange I would know the whereabouts, of course I know the how's. I still got my parents though and that makes me less anxious about it, though.