I have been happily married for over 10 years and have 3 beautiful children. We live on a waterfront property and both have good, well paying jobs with a lot of flexibility. Now here's the problem. We both earn around 100k each and split most of the bills and household costs. But I only get $250 a week for "me" spending. My husband feels this is enough as it's only money for things I want to buy not petrol, food etc. But what he doesn't understand is that a manicure and pedicure could be around $140 and my hair costs around $120. This money is also for a new piece of jewelry I might like or a new dress. So it doesn't leave me much money to play with. Am I being unreasonable or should I push for more weekly money?
58 Replies
I think 250 dollars a week "me" spending money is a huge amount.
Pages
Honestly? If it is purely "me" money, I.e. No groceries, bills, buying stuff for kids, etc, then yes you are being unreasonable. You don't need your hair done weekly, and I would be shopping around as 140 for mani/pedi is overpriced. You are probably going to be slammed on the Facebook site as 250 is a significant sum of money to some people, let alone spending it weekly on "luxury" items as opposed to items of necessity. Have you spoken to your husband about his rationale for the budget? Are you saving enough money (job loss etc), paying your mortgage off (if you have one), saving for holidays etc? I'd rather save more for family holidays etc than have a weekly massage that you won't remember having two months later....
I think you need a reality "cheque".
$250 a week I a shit load of money for "me" spending. Wether you earn $100k each or not.
The fact you whinge about about that amount of money is concerning.
What the hell do you spend that much on every week?
Surely you don't get hair and nails done every second week???
SAVE your $250. And I know it's shocking, but maybe skip a manicure every month.
My partner earns $150k a year. I have no 'me spending', and it's been a year and half since I set foot in a hair salon.
Not that I can't afford too. It's just not a priority.
If you earn so much, use the money YOU earn.
Are you taking the piss lol?? I wouldn't get $250 'me' money in 3 months (we're a married couple with 3 kids paying a mortgage who both work. Just wanted to throw that in before the anyone thinks we're 'sponging' off c'link)
??? this made me laugh so hard! You wrote what we're all thinking! Is this for real??? Hahahaha
Maybe if you have this much extra cash you should consider donating to some charities rather than spending it on hair and nails
wow.
Brace yourself for the facebook comments..
Pretty sure this is a 'joke' post ?. I'll get the popcorn lol
I went and thought about this. I've been on both sides of this financial equation. And on the 200k income there is no way I had $250 a week for me money. No way ever.
Hair cuts every 6-8 weeks and no way I spent that much on mani-pedi.
My mum and dad are on similar money and so is my sister and her husband. Again, no way any of them spend that much each week.
I'd be reassessing. Nobody needs to spend that much on there feet and nails!
Just space it out over the month. Mani one week, Pedi the next, hair the week after and a new dress or save for jewellery for the last week. This leaves a bit more each week to cover entertainment or going out too. I would definitely be making sure though that his spending money is no more than equal to yours and find out where the rest is going ie savings.
I think your husband is quite sensible anyone that wastes that much money on their hands and feet needs to have a limit put onto their spending. Smart man your husband!! Mortgage, rates, bills, car payments etc schooling for your kids. If he's got the money going into a savings account fair enough. Maybe he's saving for the future incase one of you looses your job. Wowsers I could never spend that much money on me in a week.
Hi I'm the OP and yes it is for real. We have money in the bank, pay our debts and all our kids school fees etc and no one goes without. I don't spend the money on pedicures and manicures every week, rather was giving some examples on how it is spent however what I spend it on is irrelevant. My question was am I being unreasonable in asking for more. And trust me...I could spend double that easily in a week.
Could you shout me a haircut? Last one I had was 4 years ago and cost $20, I just trim it in the shower these days because $20 can buy some decent food for my kids
Lol I cut my fringe the other day with the sewing sissors - looks fabulous!
If you don't mind me asking, on what? I'm genuinely bewildered as to what one would spend 500 a week on?
Do you spend any money on charities, give to less fortunate people? I think this is what society needs, rather than opulence.
How much do you give to charities a week?
How much does your husband have to spend a week?
If it's more than what you get, tell him that's unfair and you should both have an equal amount.
But really, $250 a week is a heck of a lot to be blowing in one week on material objects and hair/feet/nails etc.
your post comes across as snobbish... "Look at me, I'm rich. I can easily blow $250 a week. I want more money".
So expect bitchy comments. That $250 is what most people spend on groceries for a week or two, plus a few cups of coffee etc.
my partner earns over $120k a year, and transfers $100 into my account each week (I'm a stay at home mum), and I rarely spend it on myself. Although I desperately need clothes, haircut etc.
I would NEVER ask for more. Especially since it's just "waste money".
But you don't work so why should you ask for more money ?
Regardless of who works, if this lady is looking after hers and his children she is just as entitled to the money as he is.
Me and my partner both work so I don't have this problem, but if my money was mine and his was his, what is the point of being in a relationship?
No, we both work our arses off and regardless of who earns more (I usually do) both pays are OURS. His pay is not HIS money, my pay is not MY money. The money is OURS. We are a family, we are a team and we work together to get ahead in life.
She looks after the kids -that's work.
She looks after the kids -that's work.
As long as the rest of the money left over after bills is being utilised in a reasonable way such as savings or investments I'd leave it be and stretch the $250 as far as you can. Honestly future financial stability is more important than spending now even though you won't see the benefits for many years to come. How about alternating so one week you don't do anything or go anywhere and the second week you've got your $500 to spend? Maybe if you really feel the need for more money, pick up an extra few hours with the understanding that the extra money you earn is yours (either from current work or a second job) or turn a hobby into a small part-time business. Some weeks I could easily spend over $250 on me (and do) but other weeks I can literally spend $0 so it balances out. Good luck and happy spending.
I had an ex who earnt less and spent more. He was frivolous and it sounds like you are too, you want to have your money to spend as ans when you want
Two things though. Firstlt are your bills paid etc etc OK that's part of it
Secondly what is your partners hopes be cause you just can't have it both ways. You just can't have everything savings gets if you're spending it now. And as the partner who wants to save - its frustrating. It just doesnt go together. I left eventually i was angry and we werent on the same page, he wasted large amounts constantly but he believed he worked hard, his bills were paid, this is what he works for to have the money. So people here can have opinions, but its your partners that should matter to you.
Seriously, brace yourself for when this goes on Facebook. If you don't have a thick skin or have any predisposition to become upset by criticism, I suggest you delete it. Good luck!
First world problems.
In other news, kids are starving, people have nothing..
Are you being unreasonable?
Yes.
I earn $100k a year too and my partner earns around $115 to $120k.
It's called a budget.
Oh wow, i wish i had that much money per week just as extra cash i could spend on the kids!
Let alone myself!
It honestly sound like your being a bit unreasonable bordering on ungrateful, though i guess if you earn it you can spend it. Just might not be the best question to ask on here. If i had an extra $250 per week for myself i wouldn't be trying to scrounge and make my clothes last longer then they should.
Is that money spent purely on you or do you use that money to spend on you and your children?
Have to laugh at the 'charity' comments, like seriously, how many of you donate money's weekly. Come on, they work hard for their money, if they want to self indulge then that's their choice.
I do - It is actually in my monthly budget.
I do, I donate monthly to 'make a wish foundation' and I also donate $10 a fortnight to a very needing animal rescue, I have nowhere near $250 a week to spend on 'me'. Not half, not even a quarter of that money. I also give food and drinks to the homeless if I come across anyone needing it more than I do.
I may not donate weekly but I do TRY to help out people in need.
I donate to two charities. Fred hollows($25 a month) and I sponser a child in Cambodia ($50 a month). I'm a 4 person family and I'm the only one working. I earn 36k a year.
I work bloody hard for my money but I still find it within myself to give to those who need it and I encourage others to do the same. Especially if they can.
You do realise people actually live off that weekly? Why do you need to spend a small fortune on yourself? Are you honestly that insecure. 200k a year really isn't much these days. What happens if one or both of you lose your jobs (which in today's society is very common). Do something worthwhile with it instead of spending it on such frivolous shit. Sure spend a little here and there but 250 a week and wanting more is just bloody ridiculous. Who are you trying to impress? At the end of the day you're still going to be buried in a box and decompose like the rest of us. I think you really need to reevaluate your life and what's actually important. Money and living the high life is not important
..... surely I can't be the only one wondering what the hell a manicure and pedicure is these days?
What do hair places look like these days?
Last time I visited one was 2014.. that was a wonderful day ?
Yes, you're being unreasonable... REALLY unreasonable ??
But, if he does end up giving you double, can you send some my way?
Don't get jealous but the only luxurious things I get these days are pads and tampons (carefree brand of course!!)... my partner spoils me, shhh ?
I had a mani-pedi for the first time in YEARS this year. A 6 month belated bday gift. Cost $60.
Haven't had a haircut in 1.5 years (2014 must've been the "no more haircuts for you" year. Haha).
Most luxurious things I get are a splurge on Lindt chocolate and if I really want to throw money around, libra brand sanitary items ? (normally use cheap Coles brand).
Hahaha this made me laugh way too hard!!
I think we may need to go back to 2014 when we got our hair done ?
I may trade my good sanitary items for some chocolate this month, you made me want some! Lol
I'm so glad I'm not the only one thinking it's a bonus if we get decent toiletries, throw us the $250 a week and we would be lost!
2014 was the year of no haircuts... Me too ?
$250 would almost feed my family of 5 for a fortnight ?
I think the general gist here is that yes, you're being absofrikkinlutely ridiculously unreasonable.
If I were you I'd delete this post before it hits Facebook.
They're vicious...
My husband and I earn the same money as you and your husband. However, we live on a shoestring budget and the majority of our money goes toward childcare and savings. Childcare has been an ongoing cost, but will finish when our youngest starts full time school next year.
I count ourselves very lucky to be able to earn this type of money with our jobs. Our aim is to use the childcare money to really slug our mortgage next year. Our clothes and the kids clothes are bought at Kmart and Big W. We live really frugally and I buy our weekly shop at Aldi. Treats for myself have gone on the backburner for a good 5 years while we have juggled childcare fees of around $400 + a week.
Does your husband do the budget and handle money? Take a good look at what he is doing, is the money being used to secure your families future and have some kept aside for a rainy day? If so this is really good financial management. Perhaps you could get involved in the budgeting as well and look at where everything goes.
I would love to be able to spend $250 a week on myself and stop wearing the same two outfits to work. At this point in my life the financial security of my family comes first. Mortgage paid, food in the cupboard and bills paid. Everything else comes second.
Good luck.
I've seen some of your replies that suggest this is not a trolling post. And like most people, I don't have anywhere near $250 "me" money per week. But. That's not your fault or relevant to your situation.
Whether or not you're being reasonable or not depends entirely on whether there IS more than $250 available for you to spend on yourself weekly. In a family setting, once your basic costs (housing, bills, food, fuel, schooling) are taken care of and you're putting aside savings for things like entertainment, tech upgrades, holidays and whatever else the family needs if there is room to alter the budget slightly then do it. If the balance is too much in your favour and not enough in the rest of the families then you know, make do.
There are ways you can stretch things out a little bit more - for example there are some great high end label rental and resale websites out there if you're in a bigger city. Cull your wardrobe regularly to earn yourself a bit of extra $$ while staying up to date with the latest fashions and still enjoying things like regular beautician/hair appointments.
Your both on high incomes so I guess it comes down too
1) how much is left after bills
2) how much you both want to save
3) is hubby getting the same or more or less
$250 is a lot of money for some (I'm lucky to get enough to have lunch out) but this lady works so is entitled to enjoy her money the way she wants.
I work in financial planning and I see couples that earn much more than you, in their 50s with very little to show for it. Families earning over 350k with just a house and I see people that earn much less really getting ahead. Investments that compound, making wise real estate purchases, investment bonds for the kids, minimising their tax with salary sacrifice for their retirement. Don't be one of those that has the opportunity and blows it on purchasing crap, set yourself up now.
In 20 years time, consider the joy you would feel giving your child their investment funds to be used as a substantial deposit for their first home. Or consider retirement where you don't have to worry about money, overseas trips every year. In my game I have learnt that it's not about what you earn, it's about what you save.
Best reply ever!
Agree. Love this response ??
I am a Uni student full time and finding it difficult to find any sort of work that works around prac (where I live businesses don't like Uni students). I have $10 a week after all of my bills are paid and that usually goes towards my horse feed.
$250 a week for yourself is a huge amount! You don't get your hair done every week? Put a little away each week for the things you want to do for yourself. I think you're complaining a little too much about not enough money. Look at the people around you that can't afford "me" things.
I am a Uni student full time and finding it difficult to find any sort of work that works around prac (where I live businesses don't like Uni students). I have $10 a week after all of my bills are paid and that usually goes towards my horse feed.
$250 a week for yourself is a huge amount! You don't get your hair done every week? Put a little away each week for the things you want to do for yourself. I think you're complaining a little too much about not enough money. Look at the people around you that can't afford "me" things.
Get a life seriously ... instead of putting your money issues on the web why dont you sit done at a fancy fucking wine bar and whine with your bitchy cunt friends about your problems ... oh no he doesnt give me enough money and of course i cant use my own because im a cunt
So going by your post, you get about $1900 a week (gross or net). Personally I think 250 is enough. Rates, water, power, insurance, maintenace etc everything associated with owning and caring for a house cost money. The bigger and more expensive the house, the more money its costs to pay and maintain it. Furthermore houses on waterfronts pay more in insurance. Plus there are cars, maintenace, insurance, petrol and rates. Certain cars cost more to have on the road. Three kids to feed, school and extra curricula activities, clothes, entertainment is nothing to sneeze at. The more extravagant your lifestyle, the bills you will have. Theoretically, the more you should save for emergencies to pay for all of these in case something happens.
Look, my husband earns 250k a year, Im a sahm mum. I'm not given pocket money, he actually just gives me free reign and tells me to spend what I like. BUT I am the saver type and he is spender type. Its me who gives the yay or nay whenever he wants to buy something. Im the type of person who will do my own nails cause its super cheap to buy all the stuff on ebay and I can't justify $70+ per month on nails. But then, I used to be one of these kids stealing toilet paper rolls from public toilets and washing neighbourhood cars for $5 cause money was so tight even while living in housing commission with a single mother on a widows pension. I see nothing wrong at all blowing 250 a week on yourself if you can afford it and want to. Personally, I agree with your husband and would not ask for more. Save your excess for emergencies and your children and grandchildren. :)
OP again. I must say I've had a laugh over your comments. This is a serious post and I was asking for thoughts. However you ask if I am an IM. Yes, yes I am. I have been in large amounts of debt before. I have lived of less then $200 per week for all my expenses. I have been a single mum. I have known what it's like to look for coins to buy petrol or milk until the next pay day. However I also realised I didn't want to do continue to live like that and took steps to make a change including studying and working full time. And as a result of that change I have a good paying job and a stable home life. My children never go without and all our bills are paid and we donate to charity. My guess is that the majority of bitter women on here calling me every name under the sun are living off the tax I pay. If you don't like your situation, change it. If you don't like my post, keep scrolling :)
Good on you too!! There is some horrible judgemental people in the world, and everyone's circumstances are different. I think you need to sit down with your husband and look at where the money is going and how the money saved etc will be setting you up for the future. Personally I think $250 spending money is loads, especially when you have said you could easily spend double I think it's wise to have spending money rather than free rein of all the money but there may be room to add a bit more in the budget if you guys chat! Try to imagine how you felt when you were full of debt etc and think about how you'd feel if you were able to spend all your money and ended up there again. Myself and my husband both get spending money because he's a terrible spender and I think it's a great way to keep spending in check. Just look at the bigger picture such as retiring early, paying off the mortgage and traveling etc, which in the long run is more important than not being able to buy something straight away.
Do what's best for your family, and ignore all the jealous people out there xx