Hi ladies.
I have an almost 5 year old boy and I'm single and 25. I've been wanting another baby for ages and have just broken up with my Bf cuz he didn't want another. I'm done waiting....I have looked I to donor sperm but the he whole thing costs 2000...has anyone willingly had a baby on their own, or gone through a donor situation?
I need some advice and maybe some uplifting success stories...
7 Replies
Do also think of the side of the baby being born without a father. I know so many kids grow up without Dads and are completely fine. But if you get a sperm donor, that baby is going to become an adult one day who wants to know who they are. Who the other half of them is. They'll have some heavy questions. May even feel incomplete. At least with a broken relationship - they do know who their Dad is. Not being negative at all. Just giving you the perspective of the future baby. 25 is so young. The chances of you meeting another man, naturally falling in love and having another baby is very high. :)
Sadly that is not true after 9 years of marriage it broke down and i was 6 months pregnant with our third. My boy is so very confused and hurt. He does not have any contact or even a picture of his dad. I think no matter what its a mothers decision. Only she can decide how and where she will be availible to her children
Would you have chosen that for your son, though? Knowing he is confused and hurt. By choosing a sperm donor she MAY be choosing this for her future baby. I really, really don't mean this negatively. My friend was adopted and she battles with so much pain because she does not know her birth parents and she struggles with who she is tremendously. She eventually met her mother, but does not know her father. Cannot find him. She truly feels as though a piece of her is missing. In your case, you did not choose for that to happen. I am very sorry for your situation and hopefully your son finds inner peace with it as he grows up and perhaps may even have a relationship with his Dad later on in life.
Isn't that on you though? If you were married 9 years you would think he would have a photo of his dad?
I havent gone through what u have but my children do not see my ex husband their father at all. So regardless of donor or relationship. It seeems u never know how a man will react. Only how u will react so all the best :)
I say go for it if you have he means to have another child on your own.... I was 7 months pregnant when my ex walked away and moved onto a ready made family adding a child of their own 9 months after mine was born. Years of fighting accusations and the use of my baby in manipulation tactics by the 'father' not a pretty life for any child! Who knows what life has in stall for any of us. All I can suggest is that you be very open and honest with your children. I think I'd prefer to have come from donor sperm then to live with being pushed around at my fathers preference and being taught to disrespect my parent!
I worry that you mention the price as a consideration. Kids are much more expensive than 2k. Also, growing up with separated parents was awful. Not even having a dad would be so upsetting