Wish to remain unnamed.
Sisters I have a dilemma - I'm currently dating a beautiful man who treats me right and is adoring. We live an hour away from each other and see each other 2 times a week at most maybe 3 we have only been together a number of months and the last few weeks I've been getting close with a colleague of mine, we have been friends for a while and he has recently split from his partner, now that he is single i have started to develop feelings for him and have been thinking about being with him constantly but I then feel guilty when I remember I'm already In a relationship and I'm stuck with what to do. My partner is unaware of these developing feelings I have and I can't bear to hurt him if it wasn't to work out. My colleague has told me his interested and would like to try something. I'm now better a rock and a hard place as to what to do my colleague lives closer to me then my current partner and we get on really well I just don't want to make a decision and then later regret it ! Help !!
5 Replies
Don't explore things with your colleague. It is highly likely he is not really ready for a new relationship (even if he thinks he is) and you will be breaking up something good just to be a rebound girl.
Youre already over the line & betraying the trust your partner has on you as his partner. It seems you want to explore the colleague option. You're kidding yourself if you think not being honest with your partner is avoiding hurting him. What you're doing is hurting him & trust me, nothing is worse than being cheated on. Id appreciate an upfront breakup, to know your hearts not in it & you wont hurt him, thats the way to not hurt him more than you have to.
You are having an emotional affair and that is so so wrong. You need to stop with your colleague now and speak to your partner about what you want. Whether you want counselling, live closer, break up etc. You need to decide what you want to do BEFORE you jump in with another man. You have already crossed a line.
You're colleague has told you he's interested and wants to try something? Doesn't he realise you are in a relationship? Doesn't that speaks volumes as to what kind of man he is to aid someone in cheating? I'm sorry I don't mean to sound so harsh but I feel so sorry for your partner. He has no idea this is going on so how is he supposed to work on your relationship? I don't think you should break up with him out of the blue, work on your relationship first.
How would you feel if it was your partner in this situatuon, choosing between you and another woman? Imagine he broke up with you and straight away was with her? Would you feel devasted and upset?
"If you ever find yourself in love with two people at the same time choose the second one, If you truely loved the first one you wouldn't have fallen for the second."