Hey ladies, my 8 year old daughter has morphed into angry, emotional, confrontational, sensitive, cant sleep alone or be alone, her friends have picked up on it and don't want to hang out. She says she hates everybody. So is she headed towards puberty or is this something more serious like depression. I've never had an 8 year old girl, so I don't know what is normal.
4 Replies
It sounds more than normal eight year old emotional behaviour to me. Usually 8 year olds are really good at hiding there bad behaviour from there friends and let it rip at home! So because her friends don't want to be with her I'd be seeking help.
Spend some quality time with your daughter. Find something you can both go and do on the weekend and really enjoy yourself, laugh and be silly together. Do no use it as a consequence to her actions during the week. I know it can be hard when they are being nasty and all you want to do is tell them 'no!' and end it but she sounds like she needs you. She will be having hormones racing around kick starting a nasty ride for her and the need to have you near her at night is her little way of getting help.
Think back 5 yrs when she was upset , teething or scared and needed you. She probably acted the same way but you attended to her to help her through a stage.
Even though she's a big 8 year old and should be able to sleep in her own bed all the time for the rest of her life, remember she is only 8 and you need to cherish these moments to be 'mum' because before you know it they are moving out and you can't lay in bed with her anymore to talk about what's going on.
As an adult now with a teenager almost about to leave home I miss him coming into bed and so come noon on sunday and he's still in bed I annoy him by jumping in and giving him a cuddle. I was surprised to find he cuddled back and talked to me about his life. I shouldn't be surprised because I will jump into my mums bed when we visit her if shes waking up from her midday nap.
I don't think your daughter has depression. She's having a hard time and if she can't rely on friends at school to talk to you she needs to have her mummy to talk to. This is the time for girl talk and not mum/daughter talk. The time to empathise with her about friends and if someone is being nasty how would she like it and how it makes her feel. I think once you get all of that off her chest she will change. We often forget that while they are growing up so fast there is a little bit of them that just needs mum and dad. Like we all do as adults.
Vitamin B6 it will level the hormones out a little. Maybe throw on some Vitamin D. Although blood test may help. You may also find in a year you will need to add iron to the plate....
Puberty is hell but watching their vitamin D and iron levels and giving them 100-200mg of B6 a day does take the edge off expect mensus in about 12 months from the start of these nasty moods.
Its time to well and truely talk periods products and options and have that purse pack handy. I keep a fully stocked supply of pads, liners, tampons, and even have a few menstrual cups I keep on the shelf with the rest in the hopes one day they may switch to reusables. They are SO much cleaner and healthier than tampons. But they have pretty much everything available to choose from.
I find its the liners and pads which get the heaviest work out. If they want something specific they ask.....otherwise I just keep a full pack or two always in reserve. I should buy shares this is a house full of girls.
Oh and yes it could be something more serious like depression....or even pre menstrual dysphoria. It is similar to depression but comes in waves with the hormones. My 13 yo had volatile moods for the year before her period. Massive eruptions and even her friends felt it.
Since her period it has only gotten worse in the days before her period she is literally suicidal.
But the pattern of the mood swings is particularly distinct and a big tell is the depression lifting about an hour before their period starts. The early stages the year before their period starts are very difficult to distinguish from depression.
Pmd is only treated with antidepressants as a last resort. It is initially treated with B6 ;) and it won't hurt if it isn't. Second line of treatment is hormones (contraceptives) but they won't give them to your daughter they are reluctant to even prescribe them for mine. Final line of treatment if all else fails is antidepressants.
I haven't had an 8yo daughter of my own yet (but will soon! My eldest girl is 6...) but watching my sister's daughter and a few friends with daughters at that age, it seems quite common to have some of this kind of hormonal/emotional issue around 8-9. But your daughter does sound a bit more extreme perhaps? My sister did find that vitamin B helped with her daughter, as it helps with her own hormonal/emotional feelings so she gave it a go. An adult vitamin B tablet daily improved her daughter's mood/depression significantly in only a couple of days as far as I recall. I'd give it a go if I was you - it's not harmful to have extra vitamin B if she doesn't need it. As far as I understand, vitamin Bs are water soluble, and if you have an excess, you generally just get rid of it in urine. So it's worth a try! Good luck xo