Ok so I'm in a situation. I have 3 kids, 8, 2 & 8 months. My brother is currently homeless. He and his family ( pregnant gf & 1yr old daughter) have been seeking support through housing sa and other organisations that are meant to help. They have said that they can no longer help them and pretty much they are on their own from now on. They can't afford to stay in the hotel they are in as neither of them are employed. We can't have them at our house cus his gf is allergic to our cats. Even if I shut them out it will take forever to get all the fur out of everything (I clean it daily but it's impossible to get it all). Also we don't have a spare room for them to have so they will be sleeping on our couch. They can't stay with other family meme bets because of the same reasons... No one has enough room, or they have burnt their bridges with them and can no longer put their house and finances on the line to support them. I have spent well over $200 on food and petrol driving them around every 2 days to figure out their next move. I have offered to have their daughter, at least I know she will be looked after and be clean and fed and warm with me. It's gonna be crazy if they agree to it, but it's not her fault she is homeless. I can't let her sleep under a bridge or anything :( I don't know what else I can do. I don't want families sa to take the baby either... I'm so worried for them but I can only do so much. What else could I do?
What would you do?
Monday, 27 October 2014 - 12:18
What would you do?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Self Care, Baby & Toddler
5 Replies
Having had a brother with similar issues i know its hard you cant invest & break yourself for them but at the same time its awful to see. I wonder if the gf & child went to a shelter, she might get help & housing while the brother stay with you? Do you/they know anyone with land i wonder if you could front the cash for a caravan & they could pay you back over time. Do they get enough payment to cover a cabin at a caravan park, i think long term rental is about $200 a week. Good luck i hope you can sort something out.
FamiliesSA will try and home the girl with family before putting her in the foster system so it's likely that she would end up with you anyway. Of course it would be better if they handed her over to you voluntarily.
You can't do much else unfortunately, taking the entire family in would unlikely improve the circumstances as they would just bring there dysfunctional lifestyle into your home and you would need to be prepared to have them live with you permanently (look after them and basically financially support them) as they've obviously got a very bad record as tenants.
Sometimes people have to hit rock bottom to want to change so this might be just the lesson they need.
Hi :) I think you are a beautiful person, your niece is very fortunate to have someone willing to give her a loving home whilst her parents get back on their feet and maybe this is exactly the lesson they need to bounce back up :) On a different note, I wanted to let you know that your name is on your post, maybe you didn't realise? Just in case that you'd like to keep it anonymous? Wish you all the best xxxx
No need to keep this anonymous, no one I know will see it. I should clarify a few things though. They have offered to put his gf and the baby up in a woman's shelter and put him up in another shelter. He flat out refuses to leave the baby (he would have left the gf already if she wasn't pregnant again) because he does everything for the baby. She won't even change her nappy and hardly helps with the money even though she gets the parenting payment. He is worried that the baby won't get the basic care she needs. They are in this position because she refused to pay rent where they were staying and they got kicked out. I just want to have the baby with me so I know she will be looked after properly. It will be insane with my 3 as well, but I can manage.
Your heart is far too large honey and your shoulders aren't quite broad enough, and in this situation I think it is time you play the tough card. Time to sit them down across the table and say to them both " you know I would have you here but it's not possible so the best I can do to help you in this situation is to take my niece in and maybe give them a couple of meals". Then maybe they can get themselves together either split up or make it work but in the meantime you have the little one with you she isn't getting dragged around. Don't let them burn you out you have your 3 babies to think about, you don't owe them. So big girl panties on draw the line and don't let them cross it. You are the rule maker not them. Good luck and try not to get hurt xx. You can add me if you want or need to chat