Why is it some women/mums feel the need to be complete & utter bitches???
What is it that makes them think they are any better than the woman next to them???
How do we as a society reject this behaviour & change this mindset amongst some people???
I attended a school function yesterday with my child in preparation for school next year...whilst my child had an absolute ball, I on the other hand spent the morning fighting back tears.
the children went off playing & forming friendships etc whilst the parents sat back & observed from afar. not knowing anyone, I tried to strike up a conversation with some mums only to be met with blank looks, smirks & cold shoulders :(
these ladies laughed & joked together, whispered & gossiped, generally had a good morning...they were kind enough to send the occasional glance/smirk/foul look my way, so I guess I should be grateful for that (please note the sarcasm in that last part). I wish to point out, none of this was in my head...the teacher approached me once the morning was over to make sure I was OK.
I know I should feel special/flattered that these women thought so highly of me to make little old me the centre of their conversation but sadly, I take no solace in that...it doesn't make it hurt any less.
one woman even went so far as to forbid her child from playing with mine...these 2 children are both SUPER passionate about the same things & were having a ball together (almost certain they are inseparable at pre-school)- both children were saddened by the "don't play with that child" request, I was at a loss for words what to say to my child but how could I console them when I was already so broken???
to those women at the school & all other women like them...
thank you SO much, I had a great day- I am so glad I could be the butt of all your jokes & make your morning SO much better...NOT!
did you even stop to think that maybe your words/actions had a greater impact due to events currently taking place in my life...I think not, it they did I would like to think you may have been a bit more welcoming otherwise.
thank you for making me feel SO small...I forgot what it was like to cry myself to sleep, so thanks for reminding me.
it is moments like yesterday that remind me how extremely thankful I am for all the little "I love you Mummy" & hugs that fill my days, they are my rays of sunshine through the darkness...they served as a reminder that I am loved & needed by those important in my life. ladies, you too should be thankful because without these little rays, things may have turned out a little differently & I can guarantee you wouldn't be laughing then.
most importantly, to the one woman who forbid her child from playing with mine- if your treatment of me is anything to go by, thank you for sparing my child from your 'games'.
I am a human being, just like you...we breath the same air & drink the same water.
I am a mum, just like you...no doubt we experience the same ups & downs.
no, I don't wear designer labels (there are more important things in life)...but I am always dressed in a neat & tidy manner (as are my children), isn't that the main thing???
Yes, I am a SAHM & feel no shame in being one...I am thankful to my hubby for providing for us & allowing me the absolute honour & privilege to be one. no, I don't look down on working mums...in fact, I admire them- parenting is hard enough without adding more pressure to life.
No, we don't live in the 'right area' but that is only according to you...we have a roof over our heads, food on the table & our house is forever filled with love & laughter plus we have fab. neighbours- looks like we are in the 'right area' for us afterall.
remove the poles from your butts ladies, get off your high horses & take note:-
- we are all doing the very best we can, whether you are a SAHM or working mum it makes no difference...we are all mothers wanting what is best for our children & willing to give them all we can regardless of what it takes.
- you have no idea what is happening in the life of the people around you...a smile & simple hello doesn't cost a thing, yet can make the BIGGEST difference in someone's life.
instead of tearing down those around you, next time try building them up...I can almost guarantee that this will make you feel better about yourself- who knows, it just might change your life (for the better).
imagine how different the world could be if we just encourage, guide, support & nurture those around us instead of belittle & crush them.
Sincerely, the mum in the corner.
I hope most of what I have written makes sense, it has been difficult at times to see through the tears...thank you so much to those who have continued reading to this point...apologies for the rambling :)
I hope the above serves as a reminder of just how special & important this great community is...love & hugs to all the beautiful mummas (and dads) who continue to support, empower & encourage all members xxx
14 Replies
Im so sorry you had to go through that
Welcome to my world. I hate the judging mums at school ? i honestly dont bother with them. If they cant be bothered making an effort then why should i
*hug* high school gets easier the other parents don't get involved.
Primary school is hell and an absolute gossip factory.
I also find its the same gossip CLIQ mothers whose children are the ones causing trouble when they get older because they were too busy gossiping to take note of their kids.
So very well said. Hold your head high mumma! Being a decent human being costs $0.00. All the money in the would won't change the bitch pack mentality. Hugs, I hope tomorrow is a better day.
Wow! Grown ass women like this really exist? I actually feel sorry for their poor children, what poor role models they are for their children. My motto in life is, be kind to everyone you meet as you don't know what battles they are currently fighting. Big hugs sweetie, I'm so sorry you've had to be subjected to bullying at your age. Just keep being you, you sound like an amazing lady and mother. Your child has a wonderful role model xx
Finally couldn't have said it better myself. It damn well bloody hurts, and I'm always an outsider.
Hugs mumma. In the end if that's what they are like they have no place in our world. Heartless
If these mums are like that now, personally I would find a nicer school.
My experience this year as a new preppy mum.
There is alot of interaction with the parents in the school we chose.
Most of the mummies are lovely but....I did a social experiment that proved to be interesting.
I teach kids to swim and do funny hours.
I was working 6 days split shifts looking pretty soggy at school pick up (I love my job, and 4 year olds dont care if i wear make up or my hair is brushed to an inch of its life)
The mums would only talk to me if I had make up on and normal clothes.
Then I started working full time for an elite school, still looking like a drowned rat at pick up but had the elite schools logo. Some mummies would talk to me.
Then I went back to my original job but much less hours.
But......every time I turned up to pick up after a day off. Hair dry, make up ect.....they would talk to me like old friends.
Once they realised I was my childs mother they talk to me either way.
They though I was not the same person.
I have a preppy start next year it will be interesting how that goes.
As the preppies have a separate area to be collected.
Sad I say!
Am going to go against the grain here and say - everyone experiences these situations but you neverhear from the 'bitchy mums'?? I don't know: I don't care what other people think of me, I smile and say hi to the other parents .... and whenever I read posts like this I just wonder what 'they' really have to say if confronted cause you only ever hear about the mums experience of bitchy school pick ups. Noone ever admits to being that bitch so who are they??
I approached one, apparently she is not a bitch and I was the trouble maker for not accepting her attitude.
I think we never hear from the 'bitchy mums' because they most probably don't see themselves as that...I doubt they see anything wrong in the way they interact with others
Ignore them, they are not worth it. I cop it even more so now I had something to say about a woman complaining about an issue she is guilty of herself. It was accidentally directed at wrong person(friend of person it was aimed at) and a group of women have carried on. It has even gotten to the point their hubbies are joining in. Some people never grow up and you can tell they are pathetic as they hunt in packs. I have a rule I ignore it until they involve my children. Its situations like this I spent most of my time with guys in high school. Great mates no bitchieness.
Sounds like my town, they talk too you when there is no one around, but when they're in there little clicking group they don't acknowledge you...or there talking about you behind your back, I live in a small country town and know exactly how you feel, I moved here about 8 years ago because my partners family live here after moving from Sydney, going from a very active social life too a non-existence social life, I'm not one too sit back either and take crap from people and speak my mind....(some country males don't like this either, and think we should be still running around the kitchen and be bare foot and pregnant), but I'm at the age now I don't really care what you think about me, or say about me, obviously your life is pretty boring if your got nothing better too do with your time. Keep your head high be proud of who you are and where you come from say Hello too the haters, I do and if they don't say hello back no skin off my nose, and if your nose is raised that high...what's the old saying "Your shit smells like the rest of us!" Everybody has skeletons in there closet, there no better than me, or the average Joe in the street. You sound like the friend I would want too have not the Mummy Mafia who think there better than everybody else! And there is one in every town wherever you go....
Life is hard and women have the potential to be rotten bitches. Be strong in the fact that not lowering your own standards only justifies your own worth. Never ever stoop to the behaviours you don't want your children to display. Hold your head high for you showed your daughter and 'their' children self worth and dignity! ?
Thats disgusting. I am kind of going through something similar. My son started prep this year and none of the mums talk to me or even look at me really. I try to strike up conversations but they give me nothing. I am in my early 20s and the only only mum in the class that works, thats about the only thing that seperates me from the rest I guess. My son doesnt even get invited to birthday parties and I assume its because of me because he is a lovely kind hearted boy. F them. It is nothing but school yard crap from middle aged women who have nothing better to do!