Hi IM's
Before I explain my situation question / ask my question please note that this is NOT a judgment of anyone chooses to do. I firmly believe that everyone does the best thing for their families and their individual situations.
I have recently had to give up work due to a medical condition and stopped work last Thursday (the day before Good Friday) so less than 1 week and I am going stir crazy already at home.
I have a 15 yr old daughter and 9 yr old son, my house is clean and dinner is cooked early. We have been sitting down as a family eating around the table instead of in front of the television and I don't know what to do with myself by 10 am each day.
I have worked every day of my life from the day I was legally allowed to work, except for 18 months when I had my daughter and 4 months when I had my son so my days were taken up with feeding, changing poopy nappies generally looking after a new born baby.
Money is very tight right now so going out for coffee etc is not really an option.... so I guess my question is - what do stay at home mums do all day? Especially if you have older children?
I have a lot of sewing that I need to do (but I am waiting until the kids go back to school before I do that because I think my stir crazy will get out of control once they go back and I do bake but there is only so much my kids can eat and the fridge / freezer will hold.
Help me out IM's (especially if your kids are older and you are a stay at home mum), give me your daily routines.
And if you are a former "working" mum who suddenly had to stop work unplanned how did you cope with the huge change in your family dynamics?
19 Replies
Honestly I agree I don't know what stay at home mums do all day (if the kids are school aged). Cleaning can only take up so much time. What about volunteering? Study online just for the fun of it or so when do go back to the work force it will look good on your resume. When was home from work I used to read a lot and also joined a gym (which I guess you can't do). Take up another Hobbie not just 1.
I had to give up work almost 2 years ago when my son became sick. He mostly sleeps, so it is like he is at school all day. It was a huge adjustment mentally and I came close to going nuts a few times. It's worse because I cant even leave the house without organising an appropriate carer, 2days in advance.
It is totally different to looking after little ones who need to be supervised, helped, and need 24/7 attention. I was very busy as a SAHM when my son was a toddler. At your kids age they pretty much run themselves!
I'm still working out what to do with my time, it is really long expanses of nothing punctuated by something!
Things that have helped is doing some online research on a topic that interests me. I've really taken an interest in gardening (that is now a hobby, not a chore). I would love to do some volunteering but I just can't leave the house enough to do that.
Join your local library, they have free wifi, free books, DVDs etc. but yeah I feel your pain!
I am sorry to hear your son is so sick :-(
My doctor has said that I can't work at the moment so volunteerin isn't really an option for me either right now.
It's a huge adjustment not going to work every day... I can almost feel my brain turning to mush :-)
Thank you for your kind words. My mind did turn to mush! It's getting much easier mentally though.
My child is young so when she's home she's fulltime work and when she's at preschool a few days a week it's my time. Yes, I study and do adult things and enjoy my free time. I have another due and I'm scared of the,work involved, it's bloody hard to be home 24/7, I also am not cut out for it and go mental, so will enjoy the,time while a young baby but once 1 or 2 I'll look at getting a better balance back, which for me would include some work, study, hobby, teams, groups, training, anything that is my life. Doesn't really help you I suppose but in my opinion your free time could be used to better yourself in ways you've always wanted or to fulfill ambitions. Is there anything you've always wanted to be, or do, or learn. Personally if I was staying home for awhile, I'd put some effort into creating a haven in my home or backyard for reading, relaxing, painting, writing, listening to music, as these are things I enjoy.
If money's tight, you could work on making something local and handmade, maybe with your sewing skills, to sell. It could keep your mind and body busy and satisfied and bring in some income.
Thanks for your input :-) I really appreciate it.
I do have a few home sewing businesses that I will be doing. I am waiting until the kids go back to school before I really get into that but I am sewing for about 4 hrs each morning already (I am an early riser after 10 years of 4 am starts).
Isn't it crazy that we're so wired to work we don't know what to do with ourselves when we're not 'busy' and our whole days are all OURS! It's also so bloody unfair that any time that seems to happen, the money or physical ability to do anything you would've wanted disappears at the same time. You sound pretty motivated and down to earth & nice, I'm sure you'll find your way :)
well I have a one year old...I only get a break time when he sleeps, which is for 1 hour a day! :-( I'm always on my feet
Haha... I didn't mind when they were little and I had stuff to do all day but now that they are older and more self reliant they don't need me for day to day help much anymore.
Enjoy your little one. :-)
I honestly don't know what ill do when he gets bigger and more independent
I'm a work from home mum, I work 30 hours a week and I still go crazy and I still have 2 kids who are toddlers! Tonight for example...house is spotless and dinner is ready...I'm passing time reading on here haha
A few suggestions would be find a good tv series to watch, you can find a lot to watch for free on YouTube.
Join your local library and start reading
You can volunteer to help underprivileged children to learn how to read, I know someone who does this over the phone.
Volunteer at your children's schools.
Go for walks
Get a recipe book and set yourself a few cooking goals, Cook new food and get creative.
Spring clean
Start online projects for example make personalised calenders to give as Christmas presents
Your sewing projects
Study! There's plenty of courses you can do online or by correspondence to keep your mind busy
Knit or crochet blankets for your local special care unit or old people's home
Meditate
Yoga
Best wishes :)
I can only imagine how frustrating this must be. It is very different when you have young kids at home as they're a lot more dependent on you, there's often not much time when you're not doing something. When they're school aged they don't need a lot from you anymore so being a SAHM when you're used to occupying your days with work (and especially it being out of your control!!) would be mind-numbing.
If it were me I'd spend the time reading, doing hobbies that I enjoyed if I could and perhaps finding an online course or something?
I can only imagine how frustrating this must be. It is very different when you have young kids at home as they're a lot more dependent on you, there's often not much time when you're not doing something. When they're school aged they don't need a lot from you anymore so being a SAHM when you're used to occupying your days with work (and especially it being out of your control!!) would be mind-numbing.
If it were me I'd spend the time reading, doing hobbies that I enjoyed if I could and perhaps finding an online course or something?
Good question. I had a week off last week and was bored out of my brain by 9am and that was with a small child at home with me lol
I have not been allowed to work for going on seven years. Prior to that, I worked a 50-60 hour week. Volunteering is out for me too.
Mushy brain I can relate to. Online courses, hobbies, business from home, writing...all help. Keep yourself mentally stimulated - crosswords, sodoku...anything really. It'll stop you going insane.
I know you said money is tight, but look at joining a walking group, some libraries have book club contacts if you like reading...
I too had to give up work suddenly due to heath (2009) both my kids are school age now 11 and 9. It took a while to find my feet in the whole stay at home, I had always work too. In 2012 I went back to uni in a area I can do. However I found hobbies alot in fact hubby thinks too many.. Gardening, reading, sowing, painting, scrapbooking... I am not sure how I am going to fit work in when I Finnish my degree lol... I only am doing it part time 2 subjects a semester.. Timetables have been my savour thought... And lots of todo lists.. For example today I have mulching garden and game of thrones to watch. Setting goals and to-dos'. And like u money is tight.. So I grow veggies, keep chickens, home brew (beer for hubbby, ginger beer for kids, and apple cider for mummy). As u can see I run out of time for it all lol. But it takes time took me about a year to adjust. Hope Tha helps.... And enjoy it you can now be more active in kids lifes.
As a lot of people have mentioned, volunteer work would be a great way to spend your time. However if you are unable to work, you may not be able to do alot of volunteering options?
How about paid online surveys? The more surveys you do the more money/points you earn. That may help with your money issues at the moment also.
If you enjoy being in the kitchen, you could make jams/preserves and possibly even sell them at your local markets?
Do you enjoy photography, gardening, scrapbooking?
You mentioned you sew, could you advertise that you do at home alterations?
I hope you find some inspiration from your responses xx
Try out some hobbies that you think you might like, that are inexpensive. For me that's restoring old wood furniture. You can pick some up at the tip for next to nothing (or ask family and friends to donate). Then just some sanding paper and varnish or paint. It can be detailed and time consuming work, but it's rewarding and one off pieces make great gifts for friends and family.
Sounds like you need to be kept active wether that is mentally and/or physically. I would go for a walk, exercise or look at doing a course. I am isolated and stay at home to 2 young children. It is hard and very lonely I will agree. I go crazy. So cant really offer fantastic advice