So torn on what to do Christmas Day. My husbands ex wife refuses to change the court appointed changeover time and/or location for his son which means my husband and two kids and I cannot attend my families Christmas (our only family) lunch as the drive is too far at exactly the wrong time. I don't want to separate my little kids from their daddy on Xmas day, that's not fair to them.
Originally my family had agreed to a dinner in lieu of lunch but my grandmother is now refusing and the whole family who don't usually attend (around 30 people) are coming as it is expected to be my grandfathers last. This is the only Christmas event for my children and I am so torn as to what to do. Hubby says he just won't have his son, but I know he is not happy with this idea either. Whatever decision we make someone will be very upset.
If we don't attend how do I make Christmas special for my kids on our own?
4 Replies
Blended families are so incredibly hard and its awful trying to find a happy medium...
Christmas with your kids is going to be special no matter what you decide to do.. would some of your family ie grandparents and parents and any siblings you have agree to doing something Christmas eve? Or maybe 27th-28th? (But still doing their original plans though!)
Wishing you the best with it all xxx
I have a blended family and it sucks at Christmas! Luckily my family have always worked around my stepson. I think you should still go to you're families function and hopefully your hubby and step child can just come after everyone eats? And then maybe you can do just you guys at night? We live and hour away from my stepson so I can understand the travelling. Is it worth explaining to you're step child's mum to maybe meet you halfway? Hope it works out and Merry Christmas!
Oops just read that the ex won't budge! I think you can still make it special just you guys but it sucks for you as it's alot more work! Maybe you can see some of you're family that night or the next day instead?
Unfortunately, you can't keep everyone happy.
I'm from a blended family (I have a daughter with my ex), he has children with his current partner and I have children with my current partner. Christmas/New Years/Easter etc etc have always been a pain in the ass. My daughter can't always attend everything and I feel bad about that, but have learnt that that's just how it is. We now do year on year off with all of these events. Christmas Day change over is too hectic for everyone. I'm sorry, but I'm gonna agree with the ex here, there are court orders in place for a reason and you would have all agreed to those times at the time of those orders being made. You all would have had time to plan around the orders. I have this issue with my ex, I always plan around the orders because it's so much easier, where as my ex will always ask for extra time or to change times etc to accommodate his family events, which is very annoying.
Sorry for the rant, this subject kinda grinds my gears. I hope you can sort it out. My advise though for next year (and all of the following), plan in advance.... Well in advance.
I have a blended family although we dont usually do a big christmas anyway we usually get my step son after lunch xmas day about 3pm which is about 1.5 hours away and we will have him for 3 weeks straight then.. My sons who see their Dad occasionally have been with him a few days already and I will pick them up xmas eve night again 1.5 hours away. I have always been open in changing my court orders for my children for special occasions and try my best to accommodate their Dad simply because I have them every day and they deserve to spend some time with him. Their Grand Father passed away this year so was decided that they would spend xmas day with me so their Dad can get through his first christmas wwithout his Dad the way he pleases (probably drunk)
I actually think its pretty poor form to notbudge on occasions like this.
Hope all works out. Merry Christmas :-)