Recently we had a children's birthday party for and one of the families we invited from kinder have two kids with severe anaphylaxis - pretty much the kids couldn't eat any food that a usual birthday party would entail. I did know these children had the allergies but sent out the invitation and the mother replied saying they would attend and I thought nothing further of it as the mother would be there to instruct on it or bring her own supplies. Note here that the party was at a play centre so I couldn't cater or bring outside food.
Anyway, at the party the mother approached me quite distressed saying "don't you remember my kids have severe allergies - I want you to ask the playcentre management to get the ingredients lists for all the food". Of course I did ask but the playcentre couldn't oblige and then asked for more appropriate food to be brought out. Again, the playcentre couldn't oblige as it was a set menu package. I was left feeling horrible for the poor kids who couldn't really eat or drink anything and the mother was quite visibly upset at the situation too. It got me to thinking then, about what is the correct thing to do these days when you invite children to birthday parties? I was feeling terrible as I knew about the allergies beforehand but didn't even think about needing to do anything further but I kind of thought the mother should have given some direction to me before attending. I truly thought she would have had a backup plan. Can anyone suggest a plan for next year's birthday party?
6 Replies
The mother should have been prepared by at least having a conversation with you about the food situation so you both could decide on a plan. Next year just have a discussion with her about who is going to handle what. I work with kids with allergies and the parents usually supply their child's food and keep it separate etc.
Yes she should have really said something to you before hand. Even though she knew you knew she should have asked you about what kinds of foods were been provided and surely offered to bring something appropriate for her own children. I don't think you were rude at all, other then maybe not asking for further details. Maybe next time call up the mum and say that the centre only has a set menu and we don't won't to exclude popular party foods, if you could please bring a small baggy of foods for your kids or let me know anything they can eat that I can bring along myself.
My daughter had a party last yr and one of the children had a sever allergy to nuts. She spoke to me prior to the party and explained what he was allergic to and I said I would do my best to have something their that he could eat, then at the party when he arrived she reminded me again about the allergies I think it was up to the mum to discus with you before hand about what the kids could and couldn't eat
Firstly by law anywhere serving food should be able to provide the ingredients list. I would be reporting them.
I think it's up to the parents of the child with the allergy to talk to you about what they can and can't eat and prior to the party I would of spoken to the play centre to see If they could provide something suitable for them if not you should be allowed to bring something suitable for those children. If it was my child and the centre couldn't provide I would of brought food along myself I wouldn't expect the host to do it.
I feel you should have requested specific details from their mum regarding their allergies and passed the info onto the play centre. You were aware of the allergies beforehand and this was your party. It is up to the host IMO to follow this up and communicate with all sides, not assume that it's all good.
I agree that anywhere serving food should not only be able to cater for allergies but provide you with a list of ingredients when requested.
I suggest if you plan on having these kids at the party next time that you either host at home or somewhere you can have more control over the food served and consult with the parent to find out what her children can eat. You will probably need to make all food allergy-friendly because in cases of severe anaphylaxis even skin-contact with the allergen can cause a reaction.
If the play centre knew in advance about their allergies they may have been able to swap some of the food around on the set menu, their Mum could have also had some snacks in her bag as a back up plan maybe? I know you knew about the children's allergies but I would still expect their Mum to have a chat with you about what sort of food they may be able to eat at the party... Or at least reminded you of their allergies for catering purposes when she RSVP'd