I need help.
My son is 7 with Aspergers, adhd, odd and anxiety and is out of control.. He is violent with me all the time hitting, punching etc and even tried to stab me the other night!!! I have no idea what more I can do and I can't take this anymore... Every night it's him screaming and yelling, throwing things for hours... The psychologists suggestions on what to do just do not work..I feel lost...I can't live like this anymore...
What can I do???
What can I do???
Posted in:
Behaviour, Aspergers & Autism
8 Replies
Is he medicated? I know it's not everyone's first choice but there are times where it calls for medication. Alternatively have you changed his diet to remove all additives etc I do know how hard it is to change the diet of a child on the spectrum but its worth giving it a shot. i grew up with my brother being like this my mum tried medication once and didn't like the Zombie effect it had on him but it sure made life easier for the rest of us she stopped it after 2 weeks and I feared for my life on a daily basis, the day I moved out of home was the happiest day of my life and i would never go back to living like that. On the up-side my brother is now 27 still living at home and not medicated and he has calmed down a lot there are still times that I fear for my life when he's around but it doesn't happen as often anymore.
Hi, to answer your question.. Yes he is medicated but I find that it doesn't last long enough... The school has said he must be medicated at school so we give it to him then by the time its between 5/6 at night it's not working anymore... Thanks for giving me hope for the future..
Return to your paediatrician. It may be time to try some medications. Doesn't have to be long term but if things have gotten to the point you are saying then it's time not to fuss around.
Also did the psychologist do a functional assessment of the behaviour? Are you taking on going behaviour data on antecedent, behaviour, consequence. Was the psychologists suggestion based on behaviour data. Did the psychologist tell you about extinction bursts etc. Sometimes when a behaviour plan is started the childs behaviour will escalate before it gets better but with consistency the behaviour over time improves. Go back to your psychologist and ask more questions. If you don't feel satisfied with response then find a new psychologist or find a Board Certified Behaviour Analyst who can work though this behaviour thoroughly and can explain in more detail, they will give you a long term behaviour plan, not suggestions and will want to see data on behaviour before and after coming up with the plan so they make sure they get it right and that over time it is working even if its not a quick fix.
Hi poster here... My sons medicated he has been since his diagnosis...but it doesn't last 24/7 unfortuantly so 5:30pm onwards in my house is a war zone...he does see a psychologist every week... I'm not sure what extinction bursts are tho.... We do talk about his outbursts and keep a diary of happened prior to the event, during and the resulting consequence... We are very consistent but haven't found anything that works... I will ask the psychologist about what you have mentioned and see if they can help... Thank you
Go back to paediatrician it may be time to consider a second dose or there maybe a longer acting alternative
He has 2 tablets per day... We have tried 6/7 different types..unfortuanltly they either don't work or they don't last long enough.
have you tried a short acting PRN (as needed medication) my son has a different condition that causes him to have a huge meltdown. So in that situation we would give him 1/2 to 1 tablet of his medication which is fast acting and brings him back down from a state of panic to calm. Ive found over time we need it less and less as his body isn't practicing being in melt down.
You may find a neuropsychiatrist helpful as part of your team they seem to have a better understanding of medications in complex behaviour situations.
Hi Mummy,
This is written out of my own experience with autism( not same but similar to your son's diagnosis by your description)… My son had all the signals that he would be doing what you described by age 7. But, I never believed in this diagnosis and never accepted it. Yes, I did all what you must have done already diet ( cutting artificial foods and stuff with artificial colouring), working out a way to solve his gut issues ( he had terrible constipation) and figuring out what was causing the behaviour/ the constant sickness and the ASD diagnosis. To me it was related to a reaction to vaccinations ( THIS IS NOT UP TO DEBATE, AS I KNOW THIS IS WHAT DAMAGED MY SON). Anyone with a different belief, read the package insert and statistics on these neurological/behavioural conditions…
So, having worked out what caused all the torment in my boy's life and doing all I could to physically help him ( OT/speech therapy), loads of patience and deep pressure cuddles to calm him down. I introduced to our lives faith in GOD. I felt that this was the only way I could help myself and help my boy. I started praying for him while NOT with him, I prayed after reading his bed-time book WITH HIM ( saying nice things before bed time).
I constantly spoke to him how JESUS loved him so much. I got him a book called: heaven is for real and read it before his bed time. Slowly my words entered the whole psyche of my family and the psyche of my son. He started saying he dreamed with Jesus and that he was told to practice his speech, when he would loose control he would himself ask God to help him and this would break my heart.BUT, I knew that this was HIM trusting that somehow he was able to overcome that intense feeling of anger or sadness( as we know these emotions are extreme in them)…he slowly started to use this (prayer) as a way to calm himself down, without the need for a hug at times, and I would praise him for working in his self-control, and in the end thank GOD.
I learned how to say: I understand why you are like this or why you feel like this. But, I can't understand what you wanna tell me, BREATH deeply and come and talk to me calmly, so I can help you. This also, has done wonders to help him self-control!
He had terrible night terrors and I decided to pray nightly with him since he was 2 and half. Today, he says his prayers himself and close to never has a nightmare or a bad night sleep (HE DIDN'T sleep through the night until age 2, and used to wake up 4 or 5 times a night).
I have two other children, one of them is 3. Today, she was sort of out of control and I was loosing my patience. But, my boy came close to her and said BREATH. Then he followed with saying let's pray together, and they did… she stopped crying and I praised him for being a good brother and helping his sister out ( more patiently than me tonight LOL)…this is something that I could never imagine experiencing with him and now I do…. I attribute all of that to my quick actions, BUT above all faith in GOD that no words of doom spoken about my son would prosper. Words have roots, cut the bad words and thoughts towards your son and you will see change.ANY bad words from you or anyone - CHOP THEM DOWN!
the prayer I do highly with all my kids is:
Most High God,
I thank you for today. I ask you to guide (name) everyday of his/her life.
I ask you to heal everything that needs to be healed in (name)
I ask you to make (name) whole and become the person he is meant to and achieve his full potential in life
I ask you to send your glory and your angels of light into (name) bedroom so that (name) has good dreams and a good night sleep.
I reject and rebuke anything that does not belong to you affecting my son/daughter.
Help me to be the best I can be to help him and guide us to be good for each other.
in the name of JESUS CHRIST - amen!
Hope this helps --hugs
FYI - I had moments like you where I had enough/cried/screamed/questioned etc..etc…the walk is never full of roses, but its possible to walk it and see the build up of a better you and better child. believe! GOD Bless