My husband and I are having issues in our marriage but living under the same roof. Today whilst I was at work he went through all my cupboards and found a vibrator I had and proceeded to text me at work calling me a slut and telling me he was basically going to take me to the cleaners over it. He then cut it into pieces and burnt it. When I got him my 7 year old daughter who was home today said "please don't buy any more sex toys or you can't live here." I am disgusted that he would be talking to her about this stuff. Is it a form of sexual abuse? I am horrified but he sees nothing wrong with it as it's my fault (it was in a cupboard hidden in a suitcase as hadn't been used in ages and away from her eyes until he went through my stuff)
6 Replies
Ha what an arse, Im not sure its abuse but its behaving extremely badly! And no he should not be talking about this stuff to your daughter. My advice get out of there as obviously he can't keep things civilized and is just acting like an idiot. Also in Australia we have NO FAULT divorce so even if your were a 'slut' it would have no bearing on the outcome of the financial asset division!
Make sure you organise mediation ASAP
Yes he is obviously jealousy and this is an act of abuse. He def should not have spoken to your bloody daughter about it...omg I don't even know what to say!!
You need to get yourself and your daughter away from that! He should be adult enough to put his own feelings aside. That is highly inappropriate to tell your daughter. At 7! She ahould not know what they even are at that age. That is atrocious behavior for a grown man. He is delusional if he thinks that is something he can use to "take you to the cleaners". It will not even be looked at for obvious reasons - it is just plain vindictive on his part and PRIVATE! He is being a jerk... Don't let him hold anything over your head like that. Hold your head up and be the bigger person... It does payoff in the end and he will show exactly who he is! Diarise all this just incase you ever need to use a solicitor because although I don't beleive it is sexual abuse it is abuse to bring a child into such a private issues let alone how un censored his tact was... No one needs to stay in that sort of environment babe. Good luck!
So I guess your husband has some "little man" issues. Sorry had to through that one in. He is obvious jealous and feeling threatened. I have a 7 yr old daughter and would never ever tolerate someone saying that to her. I would be looking at exit options.
That is so uncalled for!!! I can not believe he has used your daughter against you and for that fact even talking to her about that is wrong (in that way!)
I wouldn't say sexual abuse but definitely emotional.
I would say leave... But ultimately it's your decision. But if that how he talks to you over something simple like a vibrator (also why did he go through your things in the first place) - think about it you wouldn't even let a stranger say those things to you!
All of this just screams wrong to me!!!
Your husband's behaviour is very concerning and I would be seriously considering getting away from him (Call the DV hotline for advice maybe) Talking to your daughter about adult topics is not on. It is a form of parentification. I am not sure if it is abuse but will not be looked kindly upon by the courts. I would certainly be considering getting yourself and your daughter away as quickly as possible and get yourself legal advice.