Hey beautiful ladies, I just have a question about my situation and was wondering how other mums would have been through the same thing or have any advice you could give me.
I'm pregnant expecting baby number 2, my partner and I have one child each to previous relastionships both aged 4. They absolutely love each other and are the best of friends but they only get to see each other once a fortnight due to the court arrangement I have with my childs father (fortnightly stays) and the agreement my partner has with his childs mother (6 hours ulternating saturday & sundays weekly)... Family mediation hasn't worked for my partners and his ex as she wont allow more time to be with us and over night stays are out of the question till the child asks or he is in school (she always says "you already have a family why dose he have to be apart of it") My partner hasn't even bathed or had dinner with his son in over 3 yrs and im still just a stranger to him even though I've been with his dad for 2 yrs.
Im so worried that my unborn child wont form a relastionship with him because of this and in my heart I know they both deserve better!! and at least grow up knowing they are brothers and form the relastionships brothers have with each other but 6 hours a week just isnt enough time with his dad let alone step sister and brother. The next step is court but with a new baby on the way and me out of work for so long we just can't afford it. We're stuck in between a rock and a hard place, I love my little imperfect family to pieces, I just wish I could have them all together one day in the future and actually have a family dinner or even be able to plan a day trip somewhere, come home put the kids to sleep and collapse on the couch saying "thank god thats over!". Sorry about the really long vent ladies...
2 Replies
Your kids will have a wonderful relationship. Time spent doesn't equal the strength of a relationship. For example my dad only met his cousins 15 years ago. He is closer and gets on better with his cousins than his siblings.
My son doesn't have siblings but has bonded closely with his cousins despite a 12 year age gap and only seeing them once a month.
Now I know it's not going to be the same as having them all under the same roof. I'm just hoping to show you that it doesn't mean your kids won't bond and build a close relationship over time.
I'm sorry you can't afford to go to court because I'm sure a court order would give the family more time together, at the very least fortnightly stays. The court would also take into account the new sibling (congratulations :) and the importance of forming a bond with the baby. I don't know what kind of legal services you can access that won't be costly but it would definitely be the way to go.