I am a 35 year old female. I have always struggled with my weight but it is now out of control. I don't know exactly what I weigh, but it is over 150kg. I am too embarrassed to find scales that go any higher than that. I know that in large part this is because of my own choices, and I have to live with that fact, but now I am truly struggling to find a way back out of this mess. I have chronic asthma which is really bad, so exercise is quite difficult. I end up really struggling to breathe and with low oxygen levels and it takes ages for my body to recover. This is exacerbated by the heat/humidity which we have in spades where I live. I eat pretty well, I make healthy choices and am very cautious about what I eat. I no longer drink coke or soda, I don't have any wine or other alcohol, I've stopped with the unhealthy snacks and treats, but nothing I am doing seems to make a lick of difference. I spent 3 months living on 1000 calories a day and I gained weight. I have tried so many different diets and fads and none of them work. I had a hemithyroidectomy 3 years ago and I was told that after that everything was fine and all my blood tests were normal... but now with the fact that I weigh so much and I am such a horrible mess I don't even have the nerves to go and talk to my doctor. I feel absolutely disgusting. My sex life with my husband is basically non existent because I don't see why he would want to be intimate with someone who looks like me. I have very few friends, and those I do have rarely include me in any of their activities, and it always feels like it's because of my appearance. I don't have nice clothes, I never wear make up, I never feel nice about myself.
My biggest fear now is that my children are going to follow in my foot steps and end up like me, and I don't want that. I don't want to be the hideous mother at the school pick up and have my kids embarrassed by me, but I don't know what to do any more to change any of this.
I basically feel worthless and useless. :'(
Weight Loss Woes
Weight Loss Woes
Posted in:
Self Care, Health & Wellbeing
9 Replies
I really feel for you, I have always struggled with my weight aswell and it is so hard losing it. I think a lot of it especially for me is linked to our emotions and when I feel out of control, I eat as a way of coping. I am not saying this is you, but I think being overweight is linked to how we feel and why it can be so hard to lose. I would recommend that you join weight watchers, even if its just the online one, its about 31 a month. You weigh each week at home and you can join online community for support. The meetings are good also, but I also found being big that I found it hard to go and "weigh in" in front of other people. Once you start losing weight, you will start to get confidence back. I am just starting again to lose weight and when I exercise I feel so out of breath, but I am getting better slowly. Maybe even some counselling will help you talk out your emotions too and I found when I talked to someone, it helped me realise that I am worth it and that I do deserve to be happy. Wishing you all the best, big hugs xx
I think you are an amazing woman for wanting to change!
Well done for all your healthy eating choices. I think you need to keep doing that. You may not notice the difference straight away but it's a good habit! :)
Dropping your calories that far is a mistake because what happens if you don't eat enough is your body goes into starvation mode and your metabolism slows right down because your body doesn't know when it's next nutrition is coming. It doesn't matter how big you are when you start that - the result from your body is the same.
Ideally I think you need to pluck up the courage to go and see your doctor - any doctor worth their salt will offer you words of encouragement - especially for the healthy food choices you have already started. They might be able to offer you help with meal suggestions for what will make up your calories you need. They will also be able to help you figure out an exercise plan that is going to be safe for you to do with all of your health factors in consideration. They might also know of support groups where you can meet other people on a similar journey. My advice would also be to set yourself goals (so you will need to know where you are starting to make yourself some long term and short term goals). Make sure they are realistic so you don't lose heart! There's your first goal right there - tell your embarrassment to bigger off because iota's useless and go see the doctor and get a true weigh in so you've got your start point and can make a plan of action next week!
I don't think you are worthless or useless.
Go on, be brave and go and talk to your doctor - I bet you'll be surprised. And if you're not, find another doctor who will help you instead of berating you.
Feel free to find me on Facebook and contact me for all the encouragement you need and deserve. I'd love to hear how you're getting on either through this website or directly if you want to contact me.
Look after yourself and good luck! xx
You are such a lovey person Rachel Champion such caring advice
Thank you Kathy :) I hope it's helpful to someone out there!
Great Advice Rachel. Also ask the doctor to organise a blood test so that you can get your thyroid checked.
An underactive thyroid is a girls worst nightmare. Been there. You are a beautiful person!
My God!!! first and foremost you need to see yourself as more than just a number in kilos and stop being terrified of what others think. You are a strong woman who wants positive change in your life. I started my own weight loss journey at 158 kilos so I know that these sort of figures can be mentally daunting. Your children will love you no matter what size you are or how much you weigh. They love you because you love them. They look at you and see their mum....flat out, that's what they see. The first step I took was seeing my doctor and doing a food diary for 3 weeks. The doctor wont judge you for wanting to take steps to get healthy, they will embrace how you feel and will do so much to help you and give you a support system if none other is around. Exercise can be a pain in the butt but again slow and steady wins the race. If you are getting puffed out in 2 minutes, keep trying. before you know it you will not get puffed out for 4 minutes, then six etc etc. No significant change will happen unless you believe in yourself. Affirmations work a treat. Each day stand tall, stand proud and say...I AM BEAUTIFUL, I AM WORTHY, I CAN ACHIEVE AND (MOST IMPORTANTLY) I LOVE AND AM LOVED. You can succeed. Take pride in the small wins and don't get upset with the little setbacks, they are speed humps on your way to a healthy you.
This should only be your last choice but if you see your dr and they agree that you have tried and tried to lose weight and that if its not done soon it would be a health risk you can actually pull funds from your superannuation to fund gastric banding, it has worked wonders for my aunty...
Have you been checked for pcos and insulin resistance? Underneath your body mass is muscles working hard to mive u each day. your daily calorie intake seems too low and u may have put ur body into starvation which stores everything. Go to a dietitian and or personal trainer who will help with exercise and diet control. Don't be scared of the gym or personal trainers they are there to help you and a lot of others a lot bigger than you. u r on the right track. dont be disheartened. keep trying!
Please inbox my sister on Facebook Gai Opresnik, she loves helping people on the journey she is currently on. She doesn't know what she weighed her scales wouldn't go past 150kg... She is now around 90kg, 2 years later and still reducing.
1000 Calories is just not enough, it put your body into starvation mode and that is why you gained weight, your calorie range will depend on your exercise, and your size. Fad diets will not work long term. Also check out the website www.sparkpeople.com, my sister swears this is the site that saved her life.
I also struggle with weight and I have just started seeing a naturepath who also practices wholistic and chinese medicine. So worth it, and there was no judgement, they were proud of me for getting up and making the appointment.
You have nothing to lose by seeing your doctor or a naturepath but you have everything to gain.
Good luck, I wish you all the best and hey if you need a friend inbox me on Facebook cause there is nothing worse than feeling alone and not having anyone to confide in.
https://www.facebook.com/carolyn.wall.5 is me!