So my daughter is 4 and made one really good friend at kindy. we have had playdates out and about and I get along with her mother well. my problem is that the girls are asking to go to each others houses to play and to sleepover. Hopefully this doesn't sound silly, but the wee friend and her family are quite well off. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I am embarrassed by our humble home, but I guess I am saying I would feel self conscious or uncomfortable if they were to come here and play. I tell myself its silly as I am sure they won't care, and I absolutely do not want to damper or affect my daughter's friendship by NOT having her over - but how long can I avoid it for? how many playdates can we have out in public before we have one here? and how old is okay for a sleepover when its not family?
She is my eldest so I am new to this, I am not really even sure what my question is, just after some advice of anyone in a similar position please?
Wealthy friends to our humble & small abode
Wealthy friends to our humble & small abode
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Kids
6 Replies
You are silly! lol if you invite them and its a problem then you know, but my experience is we judge ourselves more than anyone else could. They probably wont care one iota
just invite them over. I am sure it will be fine.
I think you should be proud of your home, it's yours and if it's well cared for and clean (not necessarily free from the hurricane of kids but shows you have pride in your house) I wouldn't worry about other people judging your house. I think if the mother is nice and you guys get along already then you might just be overthinking it a bit :)
For me, the bigger issue is the sleep over. I think 4 is far too young for a non-essential, non-family sleep over. My children will be 8-10 before I allow this and I expect that I will need to know the family very well and have allowed my child to have longer plays at their house or hosted play dates without the other parent present. I might be old fashioned (only 27) but there is no need for my child to sleep at a friends house just because she thinks she wants to. A few hours at a daytime play date is more than sufficient. Anyway, that's just my view and absolutely no judgement on others if they do it differently. To each their own.
I think it depends on how well you know the family. Personally I was having sleep overs around 5 years old. I was a very independent non-clingy child though. I'd also had had plenty of sleep overs at relatives houses and there had been no tears. I think it depends on the personality of the child too. I know 12 year olds who wouldn't cope! Lol
Invite them over!
A good friend is way more important then the walls.
I grew up in a housing commission estate. It was great!
My hubby came from a well off area, they are so petrified of what is beyond their fence.
My mum still has her best friend one house up, they wonder in and out of each others houses. (I would love that!)
We live on a nice area on the sunshine coast and also lived in Noosa. Everyone lives behind their big fences and all go to their flashy schools, and you know what its quiet lonely. Neighbours never talk to us. All my friends live in a way less fortunate suburb, but at least they care about us.
I agree with the others, just invite them! You will be much more critical of your home than they because you see all the bits that most people wont even notice (marks on walls, chips on cupboards) I know I do. Just think how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot :)
I grew up in a very odd house (shed conversion) that was bits an pieces everywhere as they extended when ever they ran out of room, and my friends loved it, its just different not bad :)
I would say that 4 is a bit young for a sleep over, it thing maybe 6 but It would depend on the kid. This is just my opinion though, she's your baby and you know her best :)