My son is 11 next month and when I mention he should call or visit his dad he has extreme anxiety as a few years ago he overhead his father threaten to kill me. They have had an extremely rocky relationship for 10 years, with his father constantly lying and his father's drug problem. I think it's perfectly reasonable for me not to force him, but his father and family are really causing a major problem by blaming me. Saying I'm filling his head with nonsense. I've tried telling them about it which has lead to more threats as they are extremely unreasonable. There are no agreed visitation through court or anything. I'm not exactly sure what I'm asking here, but I guess I'm looking for any advice I can get on what to do?
4 Replies
Don't send him. If the dad wants to see him he can take you to mediation and go through the proper channels. I'm unsure of the age they get to choose wether they go or not but I'm pretty sure he is close enough to that age. Also if the family is threatening you talk to the police AVOs may be appropriate. I'd also arrange some counselling for your son if that hasn't been done already. Hope it works out for you
My son sees the school chaplain who has advised that if it comes to court he can issue a statement of his fears and anxiety when it comes to his father.
Don't force him, let him know that if he wants to you won't mind all he has to do is tell you but if he doesn't you aren't going to make him. Also don't mention it, tell him if he wants to call or see his father to come and let you know. If his dad decides to take you to mediation then let him and let your sons voice be heard. You are doing a good job so please don't let them get you down and don't try to reason with dickheads, if they think that you are filling his head with nonsense let them, you know better and they can just shove it where the sun don't shine. Threats note everyone and maybe talk to someone about getting something in place. Good luck mumma and just keep looking out for your son, stand your ground on doing what ever he chooses in regards to this his old enough now to know.
Document everything. You may need a child psychologist to document 1. His fear 2. Your balanced approached.
This is the only thing that will hold any weight in court