I apologise if this seems all over the place but I have a million and one thoughts going through my head right now and my brain feels scrambled.. My hubby an I have 3 beautiful ( but crazy ) boys ages 5,3 and the youngest 9 months. We both said we were done having kids, although I would of loved to of added a princess, we had moved on and were making plans for the future, working hard, saving for a house deposit, starting to get on top of bills etc. just last week, hubby started commenting about how my belly had started to pop out and joked about me being pregnant, well got me thinking and I did a pregnancy test and it bloody came up positive! I died! Did all 3 tests in the pack and all positive, blood test with dr confirmed it and I'm about 6-7 weeks along. My period still hadn't even returned from having my last baby, so I'm just shocked. I don't know what to do, if we have the baby it means all our plans would be put on hold, we'd have to get a bigger car possibly a bigger house, all these extra expenses keep flowing through my head. Yet if we choose to have an abortion We can keep going with our life plans and focus more on our 3 boys we already have. I just don't think I can emotionally go through with it, but I know that it's what hubby is leaning towards. I'm just so torn as what to do, going from 3 kids to 4 is huge and I don't want to regret my decision later on in life. Would love to hear others opinions and if they were in a similar predicament...feeling confused!
10 Replies
I know exactly how you feel I had 3 daughters and fell pregnant a 4th time when baby number 3 was only 3 months old...As much as I would of liked to have a boy I knew that we would struggle financially.I also did not think I could cope with another child and worried that I would stuggle with giving my 3 I already had the time and attention they deserved.I also stuggled with the thought of termination and went from thinking yes I can do this to oh no Im not going to be able to cope but in the end that is what I chose to do.It was upsetting and I blamed myself for falling pregnant and dealt with feelings of guilt.I do think now...16 years later that I made the right decision although I often wonder if I would of coped and how life may have been different and whether the child would of been a boy or girl.
At the end of the day its your decision to make and I wish you all the best
I was the same going from 2-3. I knew financially we couldn't afford it our house was to small and we were slowly getting back on track with money. So at 10weeks I had a termination. I don't regret the decision to this day and that was 3yrs ago. Doesn't mean it wasn't a difficult one to decide and I don't think about if it was a boy/girl how old it would be wtc. Ensure you triple check your husband is happy with his choice as my ex said he was fine with it, then found out later he wasn't. Good luck you will make the right choice.. Xx
I have a 10 month old daughter... The unplanned 4th baby with a 9 yr gap between her and my next child... I get it! I've been there!!
She is the most amazing little thing you could ever imagine. I couldn't be happier! Yes, our bills are often paid late, our house is messy and our new car has been traded in for an older 7 seater... but I wouldn't change it for the world... Our family is perfect, and finally complete. We just didn't realise that there was someone missing from our family before we had her!❤️
I was in a very similar situation.. 3 children and was done having kids.. when surprise, surprise.. I was pregnant again.
I asked myself all the same questions you are asking yourself now, including whether to terminate. After weeks weighing up the pros and cons, I ended up deciding to go ahead with the pregnancy, because I knew the I personally would not cope well with a termination.
We didn't go for a larger car, but my eldest at the time was 14, and so we were usually able to work out alternative transport if we wanted to all be going somewhere as a family.
We also didn't move in to a larger home until the suprise little one was almost 4 years old, and we were in a 2 and a half bedroom place, so it was quite squishy. We had to share our room with the 2 littlest, but it was okay and we made do.
I didn't find having a fourth to be as huge of a change as I first thought, it was a pretty easy transition, and he fit into our lives so perfectly I was wondering what I'd been so stressed about.
I'm glad that I made the choice I did, and have no regrets at all as he has grown into such a lovely boy who has brought me so much joy, when I didn't think I had the room for more.
After 2 beautiful children and we knew we were done, hubby and I fell pregnant. We chose to terminate- I was 100% sure, no doubts. To this day I have no regrets whatsoever, and know we would be worse off financially if we proceeded. We chose to give all out love to our 2 kids, not divide it further between 3.
This was us, 2 kids 8&6, we were done! life was moving on and was great then surprise surprise pregnant. We chose to terminate, its emotional and stressful but i am so glad that we did it. 1 year on and no regrets. Good luck with any decision you make.
The responses to this post has just made me feel settled. I didnt realise how common it is for people to terminate after having children because they dont want more rather than terminating your 1st because you are not ready.
The responses to this post has just made me feel settled. I didnt realise how common it is for people to terminate after having children because they dont want more rather than terminating your 1st because you are not ready.
Just remember that you're talking about a life here, and 'terminate' is a nicer way of saying 'kill'. Keeping that in mind, should you terminate the baby because you have to change your plans to accommodate for him/her? It'd be like giving your own son/daughter a death sentence because you weren't more diligent with birth control. Just saying...
This was a question asked two years ago...
p.s you're a cunt