My eldest daughter started school this year, I bought her a few pairs of shorts/tshirts etc and one tunic from the school uniform shop. Not cheap as you probably know. (We are a single-income family and while we are on a tight budget we don't go without anything essential so we are better off than a lot of others)
Anyway I then got on my local buy-swap-sell page & asked if anyone had any tunics for that school they wanted to get rid off. Sure enough a lady commented she had 2 for sale, $5 each, I went and picked them up, they were fairly worn but still good and now my daughter has 3 tunics.
Now I have noticed since the start of the year there is a little girl in my daughters' class who never has a jumper, often not in uniform, sometimes in a school polo they phased out 10 years ago (which is always filthy), no school shoes just a pair of dress shoes with holes in them, I have also overheard the teacher ask her several times does she have any lunch today, she has an older sister and same thing re: clothes etc. Heartbreaking :( Well last week I saw these girls' mother at the school for the first time & recognised her straight away - she's the one I bought the tunics off!
Now I want to stress I'm not inviting judgement on that other mother because we don't know her situation.
My question is what can I do?? I know it's not my fault her daughter has nothing to wear to school because it's not, but I can't help but feel terrible because I bought them off her when she is clearly worse off than my family is.
My first thought is to give the uniforms back, but I would have to do it anonymously as I wouldn't want to offend the other mother, also I cut the tags off the tunics & wrote my daughters name on the collars in permanent marker so not really an option, I'd love to buy her some brand new ones and somehow get them to her anonymously but can't afford that (and would this mother then just sell them?), I've even checked the schools uniform pool but nothing in her size. I feel as though I just have to do something for the sake of these 2 little girls! Any ideas??
4 Replies
This is a social issue, probably very little to do with finances. I know that sounds terrible but usually these issues go a lot deeper than a financial problem. It's probable that the uniform would get sold on again.
I used to volunteer for a charity that have shoe vouchers to families in need. The parents would get shoes for the kids then sell them to pay for crap, drugs, smokes etc. it was so depressing! So my point being don't feel guilty at all. You can't control another families choices and circumstances.
I might mention what happened to the class teacher but explain you don't want the teacher to breach any confidentiality, you just though you needed to say something. It's probable that this family is well known to charities and social services already. That way you feel you have done something.
There are also organisations that 'sponsor' children like this little girl. Provide uniforms, school bags etc. that might be a way of getting help for them.
IF you mANAGE TO get your hands on some spare items of school clothing, maybe speak to the teacher about storing them at school for the little girl to change into when she gets there. Its very sad, especially about the lunch and the.jumpers!
Totally agree with first poster, it's a deeper issue and the mother chose to sell and leave the kids without so would probably happen again. Maybe you could get a kmart jumper and givE it to the girl, it may disappear though. I.know of teachers that have bought their kid's (students) school shoes, it depends if its mental health or Other reasons. I would tell the teacher so she knows, she'll be reporting on them and it will be added.
If you want to help, I suggest calling Dept of Children's Services.
I am not judging the parents of these girls at all as I do not know them or their circumstances however there are people in the Dept who are able to help.
People always assume that DOC will take children from their homes which is untrue. They are able to investigate why these children do not have the very basics and they can assist the parents and they always act in the best interest of the child.
Going by what you have said alone- it sounds like the children are suffering some degree of neglect and they need a voice.
please pass on the information to the Dept and get this family some help :)