Hi IMs!
This is a long one, so sorry!
Me and my babies dad, were together for 2 years and we split up about 2 months ago as we were constantly fighting and at each other so he moved back to his mums which is an hour away.
we're taking things slow and wanting to work things out.
One of the biggest cause of our problems was we constantly blamed each other for never cleaning/doing dishes.
Now that i live by myself with my son, i try my hardest to keep my home clean and tidy and obviously, with a 3 month old it can be very difficult.
So my Ex, when we argue now, he uses it against me which i hate.
But when he comes down to stay for a few days I ask him to help me only with baby stuff, bathing, feeding, changing etc I dont ask him to do dishes other than cleaning the bottles and he always find excuses or ways to get out of it and even when me and my son went down to visit him i had to be up at 4am to feed and then i had to change and bathe and clean all the bottles.
i have zero problem caring for my son, its my job but i feel like hes just going to be one of those dads that gets to do all the fun things and im stuck with all the responsibilities.
I don't know what i can do or say to try and fix things.
Please Help!
Unhelpful dad
Unhelpful dad
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Baby & Toddler
5 Replies
If he's come from his mums and you're broken up and hes still arguing with you and not making the effort then I'd say hes either young, spoilt and immature that he just doesn't want to do it and is happy to let someone els, or its just not in him to do housework. Which, if he was really trying to get back with you he'd realise he needs to help make the house run smoothly and give you a break and just make you happy and relaxed as if you're not busy enough with a new baby.
In other words, if he can't do it now, I doubt he ever wil. Not helping in the house isn't something I could compromise on, I know I'd be hell sick of being expected to do all housekeeping tasks really quickly!!
Sounds like he has a case of 1950s. You know thinking that it's the woman's job to do everything. I wouldn't be able to put up with that either. If rather be on my own than living with someone who thought it was the 1950s
If the babies bottle fed I'd leave the baby with him for the day and go out. He will quickly find out how much time babies take. Personally he should WANT to do those things with his baby. Do not find yourself accidentally pregnant to this jerk!
My ex was exactly the same, two kids and four years later, he's still the same. I was working full/time, waking in the middle of the night and he wouldn't so much as pick up his pants off the floor and out them in the wash...as dearly as I love him, I couldn't live like that so, amongst other issues, he's now my ex and I'm far happier...It's all about what you can cope with, can you just change your mind to "he's never going to do it, I'll just do it myself and be happy with the good parts of my relationship"
I feel u leave now b4 its too late n ur kid r older n cry to u I don't wanna go n have a new dad cos he spends his time with them brianwashing them against u trust me i have been with a user for 10 years n I feel drained overworked n unappreciated so if ur waiting for a change or think u can change don't waste ur time n ur bubs time for him cos they never change be strong n leave I know its hard cos I could never do it..but wish I had.