Hi fellow im's, just after some help in understanding asd. My niece has it & my sister is ALWAYS talking about it. She tells her daughter that she's "special" and "unique" and "different" all the time. Won't this make her feel like she's different to everyone else? Or is it good for her to know? A lot of what she says will happen eg meltdowns with any decisions, eating certain foods doesn't happen when she's alone with us. Is this normal when they're not at home? She's very high functioning & before diagnosis she was just dismissed as a naughty kid. I can't talk to my sister as she takes everything the wrong way & will just accuse me of not believing her (which I do!) she's also always saying my 3 year old has it coz he's stubborn, chucks tantys & likes routine. I think she just wants someone else to have it too. Any help understanding would be great! As would any websites. Thanks :)
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Your sister is doing the right thing. Unfortunately our kids with ASD hear such negative dialogues about themselves and there ASD it's really important they hear how special they are, and that different can be a good thing. Our kids grow up feeling like they are different anyway (even me, who is extremely high functioning and didn't get a diagnosis until I was an adult, I knew deep down I was different and 'faulty', your sister has obviously read some blogs by adults on the spectrum and is trying to counteract that).
Some behaviours can be situational, so just because it happens at home doesn't mean it will happen everywhere. My son who has ASD has a totally annoying behaviour at my mums house, doesn't do it at my house and there are behaviours at my house that he won't do at my mums. Also he will eat two minute noodles at mums house but won't even let me buy them and when I've gotten them in the house he refused to eat them :)
There is a genetic component to ASD and yeah the things you mention regarding your son would be red flags for autism. Doesn't mean it is autism, only a specialist could diagnose BUT it's totally normal to be sensitive to the red flags in other children and to be concerned for other kids in the family. All of my nieces and nephews have been assessed to rule it out or in because early intervention is a game changer. It was something my sisters did as routine. 2 are HF on the spectrum, 2 got the all clear.
I would start out with Autism Awareness Australia as your starting point regarding research as it's a quality resource.