I feel aweful for thinking this, but sometimes my toddler rubs me the wrong way so often that I just feel like letting her dad have her full time. I have a younger child to another man (my husband) and the three of us feel like my family, and then I see my toddler and it just doesn't feel the same. I love her but it just feels different, maybe because I was single her whole life before my husband came along. I am on medication for pnd but felt like this the day the new child came home. I'd do anything for the toddler, I do love her, but I'm at the edge with my tolerance with her. Any advice? Also toddlers dad and I do not live close to each other so can't just drop her off for a break here and there. And my Husband treats her like his own.
3 Replies
Do you think you feel differently toward her because, perhaps even subconsciously, you look at her and see your ex? I'm not sure how your relationship with him ended and how you get along now but you can't let that affect your daughter. You really need to talk to someone and get to the bottom of why you feel this way as it's not fair on her, or you really.
This is your problem, not your toddlers. Be an adult and solve the problem, instead of trying to take the easy way out and give her up. This would not make you a good mother all. What if your other child was a handful, are you going to give the other one up to. You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family. You choice to have her, so your job to love her.
Honestly maybe this has more to do with your Pnd than you realise. I have seen the teen version of a child in your toddlers situation and it is hard to watch. He is constantly seeking his mums love and approval and although she loves him it is just not as much as her other children with her husband!! He does live with his Dad and is constantly rejected or left out. These feelings cannot be good for a child. Please talk to a professional and sort this out earlier rather than letting it fester. I'm sure if your husbands loves her as his own he will help make this work. The toddler stage is trying at the best of times for any Mum... Let alone one with a new baby and suffering Pnd!! Just breathe, good luck!!!