After other people's experiences.
My husband and I have been married for 10 years next year. Before we had kids we travelled fairly extensively - it was our soul food and brought out the best in both of us. The last few years have been really tough on our marriage - it almost ended. We have taken time to work on our relationship because we wanted it to work for us, not just for the kids.
We have decided that we want to do something special for our 10th wedding anniversary. We want to go on an overseas trip without the kids. This is so we can relive the good old days that held us together when things were bad and make new memories to last the next 10 years. Travelling domestically is too expensive and nowhere near adventurous enough for us. The problem is the type of holiday we yearn for is not child friendly - think developing country, motorbikes and backpacks. (We have travelled internationally backpacking with our kids before but this time we want it to be about us as a couple) This is what life was like before we got bogged down in commitments.
Our children would be 7.5yrs, 6 and 5 yrs old. A family member would be staying in our house with them. They have no separation issues and quite happily sleepover at other peoples (family) houses. We would be going for two weeks during the school term.
Has anyone done something similar? What were your experiences? How did the kids cope?
It has been suggested by some family members of mine that going for a child free holiday for anymore than a night is neglectful and highly inappropriate (regardless of where). But I can't help thinking that if mum and dad are happy and their relationship is strong (or at least improved) then the children will benefit from this in the long run. At the very least I'll feel as though I've had some time to nurture my inner soul.
What are people's thoughts?
9 Replies
I'd do what I want. Don't worry about what other family members say, who's to say they haven't had those ideas going through their head. Your children are now old enough to be able to do things with out having mum and dad watching them. If they have no problems staying with anyone then they are fine.
Do it, stop worrying what others think as you know what's right and wrong. Also it's not like you and your hubby are doing a runner on the family.
My hubby and I not long returned from a week away just the two of us. We traveled internationally. We have a 2, 4 and 6 year old that we left behind with Nanna. It was by far the best holiday we have ever had. It was our first time leaving our children but they were in excellent hands and it was such a treat for them having nanna all to themselves.
It's been a rough couple of years (not on our marriage) so it was good to recharge and just be us rather then just mum and dad. I fell in love with my husband all over again. All my focus was on him, no distractions, it was amazing.
We are planning our next child free holiday for next year.
Yes some people won't leave there kids for a week or two, and there is nothing wrong with that. But there is also nothing wrong with spending quality and much needed alone time with your hubby. After all happy mum and dad make better parents! Enjoy yourselves, you will love it.
OMG do it! I haven't (it's not really a desire of mine to go o/s, with or without a child, nor is it in our budget) but quite a few friends have and have had a ball AND their kids have too!
As long as you know you can trust the carer 100% (which I'm sure you can) then go for it.
I think you should go. It's a great experience for your kids to spend more time with there extended family. They are plenty old enough to cope. My sister and husband do this every few years and the kids and them have a ball!
Ive gone away without my son for at least a week a year without my son since he was about 4. No problems.
No way! Do it! I thought you were going to say three months or more, but two weeks, no probs!! And for a ten year anniversary, and kids that age and well looked after, do it!! They'll have a wonderful holiday too.
Pack you're bags and book plane tickets baby! Just because you're both parents doesn't mean you're no longer allowed to do things together without the kids.
The best gift you can give your children is loving your husband fiercely and visa versa. So many people stop prioritising their better half when kids come along so hopefully this holiday will be a good reminder to put each other first, reconnect and have FUN!
different people have different wants, needs and expectations. personally i could not imagine being away from my son (he's 5 i have never left him more then a couple of hours but hubby has gone away 2-3 nights for work), but do i think you're selfish for taking the opportunity?....... hell no! if you did it 5 /6 times a year (had kid free weeks away ) i admit i would be judgemental (i have family members who do just that ... 1-2 weeks away every 2-3 months plus 1 weekend away every 3-4 weeks plus date nights every week) but sometimes you do lose yourself in your kids and being a parent and i can understand the need to be kid free. and to feel like your own human again.
Yes understand your perspective entirely. Once every 8 or so years seems to be a reasonable expectation. My relatives think I will cause abandonment issues in adulthood. Kids go on school camp for two weeks at a time nowadays.
Since I can remember my parents have ALWAYS gone away for their anniversary. Whether it be just for the weekend, or for a whole week. My sister and I would go stay at our dads parents house. It was great as we rarely spent nights at their house. We loved it and I have some of my fondest memories with my grandparents and my sister from a very young age.