Hi,
We have have an investigator in our house two weeks ago. For brother in laws battle for his child. They did mention that its not looking good for mum and dad and wanted plan c. Well we got a phone call about plan c.
Should we do it for this child and care for the child? The child is a really good kid. I'm really feeling for the child(very young age, no older then 3) and I want what's best for the child, but I'm worried it's going to start drama in our house and a strain on our finance as I have just got a second loan out for a second car(partner is dreaming of another, but he will be dreaming until the first car loan is finished in 2years). I'm worried if we do plan c we won't be able to give to my daughter and the child what they need(clothes,shoes). Plan d is foster care I don't wish it on any child/ren but sometimes it's a better place for them.
Please help. Need some advise on people caring for family members kids for a while. Xx
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14 Replies
Make sure you get all the facts first you may find there is benefits in the way of FTB and other options.
My sister was literally begging to foster my kids for years when my health was at its worst....not because she cared but she wanted to use the kids to drop her husband down a tax bracket. She ended up fostering her neice on her husband's side
I would take the child on. Even if that meant selling something I would do it, whatever it takes to keep a family member out of foster care.
Foster care should be the last resort after kinship care..
Money not an issue now. As partner has agreed to stop buying I wants and sticking to I needs. It's more the safety of the child and our home. He is known to kidnap the his kids. Destroying property.
Kinship fostering has rules if it is known behaviour they will be able to put in place restrictions.
I might have to ring child safety I'm the morning and see where we will stand with keeping this child safe. Or a community centre for info.
This is a really hard situation to be in, I was in similar with taking on 3 nephews with 1 son of our own and going through ivf for our 2nd.
I didn't hesitate. Yes it makes things hard but there is a lot of financial help, not enough to cover everything but at the end of the day even with no help I would've taken my nephews in rather than put them in foster care away from family.
My first question would be did you deliberately refer to him/her as The child throughout your post to stop any identifying features? If so I understand but if you are referring to them as the child because that's how you refer to them in your mind then no I don't think you should take them in.
2nd question what's your heart telling you??? If God forbid you found yourself in a situation and couldn't care for daughter what would you want for her?
Taking on a child like this is not for everyone and that's ok you need to be honest if the child is going to lack in love and have you resent them then they're better of somewhere else
I referred the child as the child so identity doesn't come out. I love this child, this child lived with us for many months with dad and the child was amazing most loving caring child, the child was my little ones shadow they had the best relationship ever. My heart is saying to take the child as I will hate to hear the child has gone to foster care.
But my head is saying what ifs.
If dad wasn't so abusive I wouldn't be second questioning anything. I might have a chat to the mother in law and see what she says.
i think that there is financial support for foster carers - I would totally do this without a heartbeat - It may not be forever - your littlie might get something from being with a cousin -
Finance isn't a problem as we will go out, with what we wants. Most people will call it wasting money on crap. And stop getting the latest gadgets out. And we both agreed on it
i think that there is financial support for foster carers - I would totally do this without a heartbeat - It may not be forever - your littlie might get something from being with a cousin -
I know someone that has taken on her two nephews. She already has 3 kids of her own. So over night she went from 3 kids under 5 to 5 kids under 5. When she took on her brothers children dcp gave them.an allowance for food and clothes ect. All the medical bills are covered by dcp. As much as its an honourable thing to take on a child from your family you also need to take into consideration your own child and family life.
Do you know the time she got from the phone call to the time she got the kiddies? I'm in the process of rearranging and redecorating my little ones room to share with the little one. But will have to put it on hold for a few days as I have work. Unless my partner feels amazing and finishes it for me(that's wishful thinking).
It's more the credit rating we will get if we can't afford to repay the car. As we are wanting to buy a house in the future. Car you need to get from a to b you can't always rely on public transport or others.
Yes we have decided to take the child waiting for a phone call on regarding our steps to take the child on. And before anyone jumps on it, it's for this child. It's going to be a short care of 6months at first then longer if needed. We have looked in to it with child safety. Which I should of done at the start as they answered every question I needed.
When mum and dad are both crazy and on drugs it makes you ask questions. Yes it's easy for everyone to say I will take this kid in and bla bla bla. And government gives you money and bla bla bla, I or my partner doesn't rely on government. That's why we want luxuries . And we want luxuries and not wake up in the morning cause some druggo has gone a rampage cause we took the child and smashed it up. Before people a so quick to judge think what ifs. Yes I would love to give the child amazing up bringing but the safety of my family is number one.