My beautiful daughter is almost 15m. She's an amazing little girl and she used to be mainly sweet tempered. Not so much in the last month... She screams ALL THE TIME. And hits me . And throws herself on the floor (where she slams her head against the tiles). And is just generally being destructive. I know this is completely normal, age appropriate behaviour. I know she can't control herself and I know she is feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. I know all this but still I just can't deal with this! I like to think of myself as a "gentle" parent. I don't smack or punish, I believe completely in positive reinforcement, understanding and empathy.... well I'm trying to. But I'm finding this phase so difficult. Little one has hardly any words yet (she has 4 or 5 including ma and da) so I can't explain things to her and she can't explain things to me and its VERY frustrating for both of us. I'm a language person, I talk things through. Its how I interact and its how I learn. But thats not how little miss works. She's hands on, boisterous and physical. She doesn't care for words. I just don't know what to do... Often I feel like crying. And I know its all me. I know I need to adjust the way I think. The messes she makes, the getting into things, the not listening and her not wanting to play/interact with me are what gets to me the most and I know that I could probably change the way I feel in these situations if I just change the way I think.. But HOW? How do I do that?? And what other coping mechanisms are there? What can I do to keep this crazy little human occupied?? She's the polar opposite to me and I just don't know how to interact with her... Help! Please.
Toddler tantrums
Friday, 6 December 2013 - 18:48
Toddler tantrums
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt, Behaviour, Baby & Toddler
4 Replies
I haven't tried it but alot of people highly recommend the Postive Parenting Program.
I've always explained things to my girl, spoke to her like normal from word go. She understands she just can't communicate easily back.
I'd also suggest baby sign language as they pick it up easier then speech.
when my girl hits or throws tantrums I walk away and explain that hurt mummy, come get me when u want to be nice to mummy. When she follows I say do you want to be nice now? Do you want a cuddle? Most of time she will give cuddle. I say sorry for walking away but mummy....... And I explain things to her in a sentence or two. Then I tell her I love her and find a fun thing to do.
its a long process but it worked well in our house and her tantrums slowly got less.
I'm gonna give this a go... My 2 1/2yo daughter in the last week has just had a personality transplant.... Seriously it's like she's been possessed (I know she hasn't, just saying the change has just been soooo drastic!!!) willing to give anything a go... Thankyou!!!
Hi :) my kids have all done this to me. The biggest advice I have for you is the reason they go through this stage is a big boost in personality/independance and a lack of words or ways of communication. This is what causes the frustration. My son did this much longer because he has autism. The speech just never came until he was three. So we gave him sign language! Simple signs he could use along with one word. The world opened up for him and the tantrums stopped. Good luck x
I have a 19 month old who has been tantruming for quite a long time now. We sit her down by the door in a kind of time out and tell her to calm down. Once she is the closest to still and quiet I then explain what she's done wrong and tell her how she's going to fix it such as pick up the toy she threw. I then ask for a cuddle then we clean up the mess together. (Sometimes this means hand over hand to get her to pack away).