Hi ive just found out im pregnant to someone I thought was awesome but started being possive and and open pervert on other mummies. I broke up with him a week ago. Since then ive learned of the pregnacy. I have a 3 yr old and 5 yr old whoose daddy tragically died when I was 15 weeks pregnant with my youngest. I tried to move on with this relationship but now I dont know if I should keep bub or terminate. Ive never had an a abortion. Confused? ???
8 Replies
Only you can decide. I'm sorry there is no right or wrong answer with a list of pros and cons mile long. Which ever decision you make though once it is made don't second guess yourself. Make the most if that decision and remember the reasons why you made it.
Lots of hospitals actually offer free counselling around pregnancy options. It might be helpful for you to find some clarity on what you want to do?
One thing to consider is if you decide to keep this baby you will be linked to this man for at least the next 18 years. I guess you have to ask yourself if you want someone like that in your life.
www.childrenbychoice.org.au & www.fpnsw.org.au both organisations have fantastic pregnancy options resources
Could you adopt the child out? Not just kill it because of their father isn't what you had hoped for?
Personally I am against abortions, so many couples would do anything to have a child.
Its your decision to make but personally I would have an abortion. Reasons being you already have two children, so this isn't your only chance to have a child, you're a single mum ( I'm sure its tough and wouldn't want to add more pressure to your life and those of your 2 children), You'll be tied to this man for the rest of your life. This is the biggest deciding factor for me as life is hard enough without having to deal with someone you dislike and that has a say about everything in your life. I don't think it is fair to your 2 children to place them in this situation as you will be dealing with so much from your ex that they will obviously affect them and their lives. I think you need to think about your two children and how having another child to a man that is possessive, no respect for their mum etc will impact upon them. Another train of thought, you could move on from this situation and find the most perfect man ever and go on to have a child with him. Take this as a blip in the road and move on. You don't want to be held back with your ex and prevent you from finding mister right! Good luck with your decision.
This is not easy. You will be linked to this perve for a lifetime he will have access to your child. On the otherhand you are a mum and emotions run wild. I will tell you emotionally a termination is HARD. It is a very easy process but you need to come to a decision very quickly before it gets harder. The emotions you will go through are life changing but on the otherhand having a child to a man you dispise will be harder. After a termination make sure you receive counselling. I am talking face to face not over the ph. It has been 7 months since i had one. I was messed up for 5 of those months. I look back and know it was the right decision for us at the time. We are now trying for a baby and are both solid in our finances and future. I said I would never recommend one but in your case you have been through enough with the kids Dad. Raising a child with someone you dont love is harder.
It's your choice but try to think of yourself in the child's place. If you don't want to be attached to this man, adoption might be a really good choice. If you were conceived by parents who didn't have a stable relationship and your Mum was in a really hard time in her life would you have preferred to not exist or have life no matter how chaotic? I know a man who was born in the Philippines to parents who were members of the Mafia. He was abandoned straight away and raised by a big loving family. He loves his parents like blood parents, loves life and now lives in Australia. He is an impressive young man who actually could have ended up in crime had he been raised by his birth parents. Instead, he has life and loves it. If your bub grows up and doesn't love life he/she can choose for themselves. I don't know about you though but as hard as life can be sometimes I would still prefer to live life and experience life. Everybody's fingerprint is different, and there will never be another of the person who is within you. As I said before, it is totally your decision, but these are just some thoughts that might help.