Help I do t know what to do with my 13 year old son anymore. Im so frustrated right now...
Last night I found out a kid at school has been threatening to gang bash my son so I shot of an email to the school to let them know what's going on. I got a reply today saying that my son had been in a fight at some stage and they were investigating it and my son was looking at a three day suspension (not what I'm frustrated about but I'll get to that in a minute both him and the other kid involved were suspended for three days and the one threatening to hang ash him has been suspended until the end of term) I'm a little annoyed that the school has taken a "few days" to look into it and decide on the punishment. But before they come through with the suspension I received a phone call from one of his teachers and he's failing maths and English (we had him in an intensive tutoring program last year to help get him up to speed with his literacy and numeracy which was school based and went from 820am until 1 pm during school hours which cost is an arm and a leg and we went without so he could participate...because that's what you do for your kids as far as we are concerned) the teacher has told me he's too focused on being popular and what others in his class think of him (of course he Denys this) and is also too focused on having a girlfriend. He slacks off and doesn't complete his work or hand in his homework (which he does do every afternoon) I have put his name forward for an inschool help program but as the teacher says it will just be a band aid if he doesn't apply himself. I've enrolled him with another tutor which starts with an assessment next week (he's not happy) I have changed his Facebook password and deactivated his account I've removed all electronics from him and banished them until his grades go from Ds to Cs or even better Bs (I'm trying to be realistic with him). His teacher has said he's far from stupid he just lacks the motivation and willingness to apply himself. I'm extremely sorry for the super long post but just don't know where else to turn or what more I can do....I've tried explaining to him since he was born in NZ he can't rely on Centrelink to help him get through life he needs to make the most of his education while he can....
So I guess this is just asking for ideas or what other mums have done in similar situation
Teenager being stupid about school
Teenager being stupid about school
Posted in:
Education, Behaviour, Kids, Teenagers, Tips and Advice
5 Replies
It's tough. Does he have a special interest? I was a shit in high school, but had a special interest subject that kept me motivated and dragged me through! It also kept me out of trouble because I was so involved in it. Unfortunately though hormones are running wild at this age. But I'm now a very productive member of society. Had a job the day I left school. Started a business 3 months later. So what happens now isn't neccessarily indicative of his future (I know you still need to work on it though).
This was me in high school (not the fighting) but I was more focused trying to fit in then doing actuality school work. I regret it so much to this day. I'm 30 and I've just started my first year of university, juggling study with kids is not fun and to think I could be where I want to be career wise right now had I applied myself at school is pretty depressing.
Have you thought about putting him in an all boys school? I think there would be less need for him to try and be popular and it eliminates girl distractions.
I wish my parents cared as much as you do about your child's education but to be honest if he's not into it, it's going to be a really difficult change. Best of luck.
It sounds like his self-esteem is shot to pieces. Maybe he needs a bit of positivity, he is looking for it from his peers and girlfriend.
Its time to change schools. He needs a fresh start somewhere else.
He needs to be motivated. He can't do it on his own so you need to find something to motivate him. Like if he does his homework and tutoring everyday then on Saturday he gets his tecnolgy from say 8 to 5 then he has to do more studying. Then Sunday he can have it from 8 till 5 again. Have it no texnolgy during the week until his grades pick up. And if they don't then he loses it on weekends until grades pick up. But if he won't do his homework or tutoring everyday he doesn't get it on the weekend. My son has ADHD and this is what we do for him. It helps motivate him because he loves being social and talking to his mates on social media. The doctors have told me to barter with him. Good luck