I just wanted to ask... hands up who struggles with motherhood from time to time?
I have had my first baby who is nearly 1. I am not talking about huge issues or extreme dramas... but just day to day things that sometimes feel overwhelming? I have always been good at most things I do, so admitting that I'm struggling has always been hard. But I'm thinking surely I'm not the only one who has difficulty coping at times... I thought if other mums could come forward and say that they too sometimes want to cry or hide from the usual things like sleep deprivation, teething dramas etc., we wouldn't have to feel alone!
Please no judgement... I know this is a beautiful time and I appreciate my baby and love my life, but sometimes it's hard!! And no one I know really talks about that, including me because I feel guilty and ashamed for sstruggling at times. I'm not the only one, right?
11 Replies
Of course Ive felt like this. Being a mum is the hardest job in the world, even if it is all you have ever dreamed of, planned it to a tee and have the most perfect partner in the world! It is hard. Nothing can prepare you for what comes unless you have one of those mythical babies who sleeps through the night from day one and never cries. It is bloody hard some days.
I could've written this question myself! I absolutely feel that way..a lot of the time at the moment actually! Overwhelmed is the best word to describe it. .2 kids, husband, house, 2 dogs and 2 cats is HARD to keep up with..washing, cleaning, cooking. .It all stresses me out! I love them all to bits and are so so grateful to have them all in my life but some days I feel like running away! Xx
Yes definitely felt like that. I have two year old twin boys and the first couple of months were so hard with no sleep and having no idea what I was doing. Nothing can prepare you for it and children change your life so dramatically. It's hard to balance everything but I wouldn't change anything.
Oh yes, a lot!
I often feel like I'm the only one so thankyou for posting this :)
You have absolutely no judgement from me ..... :) yes I struggle alot and it is normal children can absolutely stress you out. Especially when they are upset and not sleeping. You will have a short fuse and they will from sleep deprivation. Hearing my kids upset makes me feel sick because I feel so helpless. I have a 5yo and 2yo both very dependent ages on you and I think every age there will be difficulties. But I can tell you now..... kids are stressful. You are doing amazing xxxx
hi peoples
I'm seeking some advise as I'm lost. me and my partner have been together for nearly 6yrs. I fell pregnant only months after we first got together. he was happy to stay and so we grew a family and life together. we were very soon blessed by another baby and so far so good. but I feel we don't really know each other. we only ever fight over the kids. I'm always defending our oldest because he has speak problems which we are currently addressing. also he isn't the go happy guy I first fell in love with. I'm usually always watching what I say to him as I don't want the third degree over something so little that he usually over reacts about. I do love this man allot, I guess I'm just wondering if anyone eles has been in the same situation and what helped or didn't help to rekindle the first love you had for each other and how can we stop arguing over the kids? I'm just over it and need some news ideas or an out siders input
thanks in advance: )
Hey hun, not sure if you realise this is posted as a comment.
In the early days I was overwhelmed more often than not. It still happens occasionally, because at 3 they like to test you A LOT! Along the way I tried reaching out and telling people that I was struggling. I was met with dissaproval and judgement. As such my support net work is tiny because those that's judged obviously weren't there to support. I even had one childless friend tell me I should visit her more ( not offer to see me) me,who didn't have a car because my partner used it for work.
Struggled. Oh god yes. Felt judged, yep all the time, even by strangers. Somehow still muddling through because I have to.
Nothing can prepare a new parent for the stresses & responsibility of a new life in your untrained albeit loving hands.....However capable & clever we are .Just one little helpless full on no short cuts baby is a frightening & exhausting experience...Accept that you are normal & human & need support & care yourself. that is what families were all about once & that worked We now need networks of supporters for young mums [& dads] Ask for help you are an essential part of our society & yours & your child's well being are imperative to us all. Sincerely & with love Nanna
You are definitely not alone, and honestly there are a LOT more parents (who don't like to admit it) that feel that way.
There is no error in the job title 'Hardest Job In The World'.....I went from working 12 -14 hour shifts/ 6 days a week, to being a stay at home parent, and let me just say that working wasn't so bad lol.
I am now turning 27yrs and I have 3 children (6/3/1-yrs).....Parents are out numbered in our house, not a very smart move ;-)
Most days I feel like giving up, some days I do!!.....10 things I have learnt tho is -
1). EVER child is different!! Just because you want them to be something doesn't mean they will be....(Are you exactly what your parents wanted you to be?)
2). There is no exact right or wrong path, parenting is not a science experiment and life is NOT black and white.
3). "Perfection" DOESNT exist!! A "Perfect Mother also DOESNT exist!!
EVERYONE makes mistakes!!!
We're all just trying to do our best with what we're given and the knowledge we have.... (God it feels like yesterday I myself was a teenager, we really do grow up in a blink of an eye)
4). Judgment and Judgmental opinions expressed by others NEVER help!!
Parental guilt comes with the territory, ultimately because all really HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE ARE DOING!! We're learning as we go (we need to help each other more).
5). We are raising little people, people with feelings, likes, dislikes, personalities, and even opinions....They learn more from what we do (and what we DONT do) more then they do from what we tell them to do. (I to am guilty of this...learning is more important then failure tho.)
6) You won't get your house back until they move out!!!!! STOP PANICING!!
Mess is mess, kids make it....it's in their DNA ;-)
7). You will NEVER live up to the expectations of others!!! Don't even bother!!...Ultimately they judge because they to in their life have felt judged....society as it stands SUCKS!!
8). Don't miss out on making memories just because your so obsessed with being perfect!!....Kids don't remember what brand name you buy them or how clean the house is, they remember the nights you lay with them, the tears you wipe, the books you read, the warm hugs and nice home cooked meals, and the moments your there with them....it's the little things that matter....just being there and showering them with love is what counts.
9). STOP BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF!!...we ALL have bad days, some days your going to be more snappy, you will also make mistakes....OWN THEM!! Say sorry to your kids when you are wrong....talk to them, again - Little People, they understand more then we give them credit!!
10). Nothing Lasts Forever!!
!!THIS TO SHALL PASS!!
One day all these sleepless nights, tantrums, stress, tears, self doubt, fights, and ENDLESS MESS :-(
All of it will one day will be over, and it's those memories that you will cherish the most.
Trust me....Worrying is pointless, but we're ALL guilty of it unfortunately.
Lets try changing that and grow with acceptance, acceptance that life isn't going to be exactly the way we plan.....the old saying:
'Life is what happens, while we're busy making plans'....let's all start living instead of planning perfection :-) xo
Oh honey, no. You are not alone. Wait until you have another.