Struggling..
I had my twins removed from my care at 3 months old, after taking my daughter to the hospital, it was found that she had shaken baby syndrome. Then my son was tested and he to had been shaken. My daughter had massive head injuries which resulted in her having major surgery and a shunt put in place. There father admitted to me that it was him but never to authorities.. I spent the next 10 months, in court and with docs fighting to get my babies back.. I got the back 2 day before Xmas .. This being the short of a horrific time in my life and my babies.
My struggle now is that my babies are now 5 and due to start school next year. I can't think about this without getting into a panic and crying. I have avoided the whole thing, can't fill in enrolment forms, can't drive past local school without wanting to cry.. I don't want to be away from them and not be able to protect them again.. I feel like a failure.. I didn't protect them. I don't know how to deal with this.. They are excited and totally ready to go.. They go to daycare 2 days a week and I have never had an issue with that..
How do I get past this?
4 Replies
It's time to go and speak to your GP about your options. A mental health assessment and referral to psych who can help you work through this. Good luck
Its hard.....since my eldest was physically abused by her uncle while he babysat and their father on an ongoing basis.....it is REALLY hard..we dont get baby sitters my only break was their going to school until they were old enough to be home alone for an hour and we progessively extended it teaching them the rules of being home alone because even if it was just a friend 'visiting' while we went to the city for events she would have MASSIVE panic attacks...but you know what? The most dangerous people are the ones they know. At school there are always witnesses always someone else there to see what is happening and report.
They will be ok. And the support network they are about to build will be one of the most important things protecting them from abusers.
School is a safe place.
First day of school is hard on any parent no matter what the back ground story. Go to the school and have a chat with the principal, explain the situation and ask to meet the kids teacher explain to their teacher the situation. Alot of times for the first few weeks the teachers are very happy for you the do parent helper and things like this. That way you can stay watch your kids enjoying themselves at school and know they will be ok. I was so worried about sending my kids to school the first day but the teachers are always understanding they always try to accommodate parents and students be upfront and honest with the teachers so they can support you and your twins in transitions into school.
Definitely go and see your GP, but also chose a school and talk to the principle and explain your situation and they can do a slow progression start with all of you going in for reading group with the kindergartens so you get to know the teacher and spend morning tea with them a few time then extend and you can always ask with orientation a few extra days so you get use to the idea, most schools will have some sort of social worker or similar and they won't mind you calling through the day for peace of mind, it's a big step and it's harder for us parents than the kids. Keep strong maybe do something you love take up a new hobby, volunteer somewhere, join a gym, or study again!
Good luck