I just want to know other parents' opinion (agree and disagree - but please be kind!).
I LOVE spending time with my 15 month old daughter. If I could choose spending time with her and just about anyone else on the planet I would choose her. My absolute ideal day is just going to the park with my husband and daughter and relaxing. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I love her and want to be with her - all the time! Don't get me wrong she can drive me up the wall sometimes and I do drop her off to both grandmas occasionally but generally she is very happy.
Lately people have been telling me I need to spend more time away from her. Like, get a baby sitter and just leave for a couple of hours. And do what? I say. Anything, apparently. Go shopping, have a coffee, just literally sit and do nothing. I do most of those things with my daughter and that's how we both like it. Besides, I work 5 days a fortnight, 8 hr shifts (shift work). I go on dates with my husband (albeit quite a bit less then before she was born). I see friends without her about once a month. I feel like I spend way too much away from her and people are telling me I need more time away? Why? All three of us (me, husband and daughter) like it this way. I had a child to be with her not away from her. We go on a lot of family outings and have people over so it's not like I spend all day every day at home with just her, ignore everyone else completely and do nothing.
I'm not sure why people are saying this to me. I can't think of anyone I am hurting by wanting to be around my own child all of the time. I am actually quite upset that these people I thought were my friends and family think I spend too much time with my daughter.
Am I being irrational? Do other parents like spending all their free time with their kids? How should I respond when someone mentions it to me again (like I know they will)? What would you do?
I'm starting to feel guilty, am I not doing the right thing by my family by spending a lot of time with her?
Thanks.
3 Replies
People will always have their opinions on what others should and shouldn't do. If you 3 are happy then don't stop it for anyone. They're not living your life, you are. Xx
There is no right or wrong amount of time to spend within a child, everyone is different and needs different things. sometimes I feel I can't get enough time with my son between work, school sport etc, then other times I can't wait to get out the door and have a child free catch up with friends. Do what your happy with, but never feel guilty for what you do wether it be spending every minute with your child or taking some me time. A happy mum = happy child I was reminded of this by a good friend when I was feeling guilty for taking me time after working long hours.
It sounds like you have a good balance to me! It's not like you never leave her. I'm not quite sure what the problem is. Maybe they feel like you only talk about your daughter????? And so they interpret that as you don't do anything else. Just a guess.