My husband and I married 10 years ago and he has raised my boys as his own and they have been known by his last name but my eldest has expressed his need to go back to his birth name how do I help my husband understand that's it's not to spite him but rather a way of my son claiming his own identity?
2 Replies
Depending what state you are in, but here in Queensland to graduate from high school you must be registered under your birth name. So if you son was registered at birth under his birth fathers last name and it has never legally been changed, then he will need to go by that name. So you could explain that to your husband? It must feel like a bit of a kick in the guts to him and he is obviously so very proud to be such an important part of your sons life, but he also needs to understand that it is your sons choice. It doesn't mean your son will love him any less. Maybe he and your son just need to sit down and have a reassuring chat to each other. Good luck, such a tough situation.
In Qld school you have to be registered using your birth name, but you can be known as any name you choose. If your son is doing it to hurt your husband, then your husband needs your support, because children in their teens can be cruel little people. If he is not doing it to hurt your husband, maybe your son and your husband and you could sit down and let your son explain why he wants to do this. Explain to your son why it is hurtful.