So I've had a lot of people unfriend me but usually I don't care because they're just people from school I never talk to or something. However one did upset me. I had a fb friend I used to talk to a lot but one day I went to message her and saw the "add friend" button...she had unfriended me....I have no idea why as we hadn't had an argument or anything. I messaged her asking why but got no response.. That was back in March 2014.
She re-added me just the other day (October 2015) so way over a year later...95% of me wants to deny her but the other 5% wants to add her again.
Do you add people who re-add you after unfriending you? I just don't think it's right that people can pick and choose when to be in your life, even on fb.
Someone who unfriended you re-adding you?
Someone who unfriended you re-adding you?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Behaviour
18 Replies
It's up to you. Do you want her to be on your Facebook? Do you have a relationship outside of Facebook? Personally I wouldn't bother and worry more about real life friendships than Facebook ones, but it's totally up to you.
I'm used to it. But I have quite a few on my friends list who have either bipolar or borderline. It is up to you if you add them or not. Sometimes I do sometimes I don't. ...sometimes I leave the invite sitting there another couple of months because I know the storm hasnt past yet.
I think if you are unsure leave the request sitting there for a while. In the meantime could you message her and ask what happened? Like above comment, really depends on the relationship you guys had but if you were close enough you would've spoken Outside of fb. Personally I wouldn't as it's been quite a while without contact and she didn't respond to your last message asking why.
There are other reasons to remove people....
when the recent situation with my ex started I literally went through and culled anyone I didn't know IRL or hadn't been speaking to literally for years supporting for shared stress...such as being carers for the mentally ill.
Those who are on my list for political advocacy purposes (politicians and other advocates) and page admin purposes only, (I do alot of networking on facebook not just keeping up with old friends) old school friends who rarely chatted and associates like old work mates were all unceremoniously shifted to restricted...and quite a number noticed when my wall suddenly vanished. Those genuinely interested in the shit pile I was dealing with who weren't a leak concern were slowly returned to previous privacy privileges
and an old friend who happened to have been an old friend of his family as well as mine who couldn't NOT randomly say shit that was going on to his side of the family got blocked outright because everything went straight to him.....she still doesn't understand why that wasn't appropriate.
I also removed all his family whether daughter nieces nephews step sisters who were on the outs....didnt matter what their relationship with him was. I couldn't count on them to know what was damaging and what wasn't and I couldn't count on them to recognise the true threat that he is. Because he is their family and blood is thicker than water. I may have grown up with predators in the family and we recognised them and dealt with them....they didn't. I couldn't count on them to have the same values.
Even new wives of ex husbands of step sisters were removed.
You might not know what was going on in her life which necessitated cleaning house. It may have been less about you and more about her security issues at the time and the situation may have passed.
No i dont.
Unless we have caught up irl and sorted stuff out.
The question is: do u want to be friends with her? Do u want to rekindle a friendship or just continue on as you have the last 12mths?
The other option is adding her and seeing how it goes for a few weeks. Maybe message her again and ask for an explanation and if she still doesnt respond then either unfollow or unfriend.
I wish i knew about the unfollow button a while ago as i unfriended family because i was sick of them being in my feed everyday but it has now caused upset in real life because i unfriended them! Oops!
It's facebook. I wouldn't take it to personally.. i dont understand how people have hissy fits over whose friends with who.. who cares.. She hasn't spoken to you in over a year so im assuming you weren't even that close.. Just deny the request and move on with your life.
Wow someone has their grumpy pants on today!
It was a simple question, which you didn't have to answer. Considering these questions are posted to Facebook and this was a question about Facebook, I thought it would be appropriate to ask. Don't like it, don't answer.
LOL and look at you getting your grumpy pants on because you didn't like my answer. My opinion, don't like it,don't read.
Couldnt agree more. I speak to people all the time that I wouldn't add on fb. My bestie and I aren't friends on fb because it gives us more to talk about when we see see each other. I hate her knowing what's going on in my life because I've been tagged in photos or posted a status.
Personally I've recently culled my list. Some people I get on great with in real life but for some reason things on Facebook get misconstrued and blown out of proportion when we interact. So in order to protect the friendship we are not Facebook friends. Other people who post a ridiculous amount of content that clogs up my feed with stuff that I find boring I also have unfriended. Doesnt mean I don't like them in real life and don't enjoy spending time with them, I just find that much content overwhelming.
People have all sorts of reasons from unplugging from friendships for a period of time, often it has nothing to do with us as friends. I unplug when I am mentally feeling unwell. It's a sign I'm not coping with my own life. At those times I full my list because I say things I don't always mean and only want my very inner circle (parents) to see as they will interpret it properly. I do it to save the friendships not kill them. My friends understand this, those that take it personally aren't going to hang around and I just have to accept that
I do this too.
This has happened to me. I noticed an unfriend and thought it was really weird. I just left it.
A year later... Friend request from them.
I accepted and then asked what the go was. Turns out she had started dating my ex husband! And didn't want me to see the status updates etc. I was like oh honey! You can have him lol.
They broke up. She added me again.
It's up to you. You can add her again and if you're uneasy about it.... The unfriend button is really easy to use. Heh.
I had this happen, I was unfriended and as soon as I had a baby BAM, friend request from that person, it is usually so they can have a snoop at how your life is going. I wouldn't add someone back that did that
Facebook is weird. I'm actually not friends with my SIL on facebook. Online she is a completely different human being. Nasty, nasty. In real life she's nowhere near as bad. I was finding every time I'd put anything up, she'd write something extremely passive aggressive underneath. I know it's because she's unhappy with her own life, so when she's alone, with a keyboard in front of her and in a different mind frame, all the nasty just came out. So when she deactivated once, I unfriended her.... and i have no plans re-adding her. Our relationship was strained because of how she behaved online. We get on much better now we're not facebook friends. We did have one little chat about it very quickly, but I just said oh Facebook stuffs up all the time, must have just deleted you, haha. Sometimes not being FB friends is a good thing. BUT, I know a lady who deleted me because I kept talking about our recent house purchase (my sister told me all this info as they're friends), and as she was older than me she took what I was doing as 'bragging' so she deleted me. That's all her own insecure rubbish. But not only will I not accept a friend request from her, I won't even speak to her or say hi in real life. As far as I'm concerned, if you can't be happy for someone when they achieve something big, then I don't want you around. So yes, depends on the circumstance! If they're not good friends - clearly they're not? I wouldn't re-add. Just pretend you didn't see it. :)
I do unfriend people and then wonder what they're upto and refriend.
It has nothing to do with how I feel about them personally.
I do a cull every 6 months or so. If i havnt spoken to the people in real life and are not really where we are in our life I do unfriend. I like the people in my FB world it to be quite a personal world. Our family is in another state and I do put up alot of pictures of the kids and what we are doing.
Maybe something happendend in her world, all you can do is ask if everything is ok.
Ive had a girlfriend from school delete me, then re-add me. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and re-added her only to be deleted again within the year. Worse still when my best friend deleted me without aby explanation . 3 months later she was all like 'oh for some reason we're not friends can we be friends again.' Hmm lets see... no. People hit that delete button without thinking how it might make someone on the other end feel.
Dude, dont accept her fucking request. . Let her feel the hatred you felt when the time you notice she unfriended you. Let her feel that bitter feelings you felt on that day.
Unfriending is a digital form of fucking "rejection". . Go reject her since she is a great example of an "asshole hair"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!