I need some advice regarding sex post children!
Since the birth of my second child I feel like I don't even know myself and my relationship with my body is terrible!
I feel my marriage is straining due to the lack of intimacy and we're distancing. We're both young, and my husband is never pushy for sex (but can't understand the issue).
I'm horribly uncomfortable with myself and sex and can't seem to bring myself out of it.
I'm not a big girl (55kgs) but as hard as it is to admit I'm quite 'loose' since the birth of my second (possibly prolapse?) and my 'girls' look just as fantastic (that's sarcasm, they look terrible). My husband is beautiful and tells how gorgeous I am everyday but I'm so put off by myself I can't have sex! I spend the entire time thinking 'yuck, you really don't want to touch me here, there, anywhere'!
Will I ever learn to love my new body??
3 Replies
Firstly go get your self a check up of your vagina. If the doctor says there is nothing wrong believe her/him. Most vaginas spring back to normal after having a baby as it is very elastic. It is most likely that it is in your mind that you are 'loose'. Secondly don't underestimate how sexy your husband finds you. I have a very saggy boobs, stretch marks, and a saggy tummy. I also have a very scarred vagina after a violent birth. Guess what I've not been rejected for any of those things. I've been rejected because I am uncompromising, but not because of my vagina or my body. Guys find all if that stuff weirdly sexy!
In fact I reckon sex has gotten way better after kids. But I did have to adjust my mindset and realise the stuff I was worrying about wasn't worth worrying about. :)
But more than anything trust your husband, go back to basics, lots of foreplay and exploring of your body and you will get there.
Myself and hubby's sex life got so much better after our 3 kids. Perhaps get your husband to try to desensitise you to your body maybe start with him giving you a massage so you get used to him touching you again.
get your vagina checked by a doctor or womens health nurse, also have you been doing pelvic floor exercises? as that will help to tighten things up. i dont know how old your baby is but give yourself a year after the birth for things to settle. i had bad tearing and lots of stitches with my first and i was afraid of what the scarring would look like, my doctor told me 'if anyone is close enough to see they arent going to care!' and i think that really applies to your boobies as well. honestly your hubby will still love them when you are naked! be confident of your new body, own it and be proud of what its done! i wish us women were more honest about how our post-baby bodies look like, yes they are scarred, wrinkled, flabby and there are new lumps and bumps but they are beautiful!