Here goes.. been split with ex for 8 months now, after I busted him cheating AGAIN! Yes shame on me for sticking around.
We have been able to share custody of our 2yr old without many issues however recent activities have made me doubt his focus while our daughter is in his care.
He suffers from sexual addiction, which apparently 2 days in a mental ward fixed! He had a fixation for both men and women, public places, orgies, and pretty much anything goes. A pornography addiction leading to phone bills over $600 a month in data over usage!
He encouraged the idea that he was fine and his private activities should not affect his parenting. HOWEVER...
He has been meeting women off websites for dates etc and has decided after 2 dates to introduce my daughter to one of these women (I found out afterwards). This woman is now threatening him and threatening to kill herself from a broken heart, hoping she is pregnant so she can "take him to the cleaners", constantly abusing him etc... this hasnt stopped him, whilst I was picking my daughter up this weekend he bragged about having many women chasing him and he was constantly on the phone massaging and had to drag himself away from it just to say goodbye to his daughter.
This put doubts into my mind that his sexual addiction is under control and that he is unlikely still receiving counseling.
A quick look online and suspicions were confirmed with ads for explicit activities in a public toilet whilst my daughter was in his care. I know she would have been with family, but he has chosen to meet up with men in public toilets instead of being home with her. Snide comments from his family members also indicate he spends so much time on his phone, my daughter has to scream at him to get her attention.
Is it wrong of me to want to limit his contact with her. If he is too busy chatting up people online and organising explicit and illegal activities, she is obviously unsupervised.
He has been attacked by many family friends for his inappropriate conversation content and not being able to control his behavior in front of children.
My little girl adores her Dad and often cries if she cant see him, but I want her to be safe and away from the people that he would associate with.
7 Replies
It's not wrong of you. I would expect him to have supervised time with her of a few hours at a time. It could be a couple of times a week.
I would be trying to arrange limited supervised visitation only...
I made an appointment for today(Wednesday) with my legal aid lawyer to have a chat about my options... but the situation has changed a little..
My daughter woke up an hour ago and as I got her back to sleep I found myself wide awake worrying about todays appointment. Scrolling through Facebook I saw an ad for Gmail. This reminded me that while we were together we had a Gmail account for the family and I logged in to see if he had been using it.
Sure enough I now have enough evidence that I am going straight to the police once the kids go to school. Conversations between him and another man talking about how excited they got when they thought about incest. The other man even admitted to playing with himself while his 3yr old daughter watched. My ex made comments about how that was too young for him but he would love a 'preteen' when they are just beginning to develop. I feel sick.... Not only how could I have loved such a man, but I should have kept my daughter away much earlier... trust your instincts Mummas.. if you don't think they are safe, do something before its too late.
Wow thats awful for you. I cant believe his reply, thats too young. Its disgusting & hes not fazed... Wow... Glad youre on it for your daughter, I hope they find the other guy too.
Fucking hell that is disgusting! I'm glad you will be trying to do something about it although I don't know if police will be much help you can't charge someone with talking about that online..Although it will help get you full custody. I would be bloody keeping her away from him especially when she's in her teens!!! )': so sad that a daughter will miss out on having her dad because of a disgusting sexual desire!!! I'm going through the same thing pretty much, my ex has made "jokes" about wanting a 12 yr old girlfriend...and I found 12/13 yr old girl porn on his computer a few years ago while we were together. I moved countries to get away from him and he's not allowed to see her and if he ever does it will always be supervised!
I'm at the police station now, they are very concerned about the conversation and the casual way two strangers who have young daughters can talk about this.
My daughter is with family baking cupcakes right now and I will not leave the CBD without a protection order to prevent him contacting or seeing her. So disgusted...
The other man actually admits to committing sexual acts in front of a toddler for his satisfaction, and he will be investigated too. A quick look on Facebook and I see a family, husband, wife and a beautiful little girl. I'm so glad I found this, my daughter is safe but there is a little girl I dont know 200kms away in serious danger. I hope he hasnt hurt her already...
I'm so glad you decided to take action and found this out now.