Hi sisters,
I have just found out that I am pregnant with baby number 3. I am in shock as not sure when this would have happened but I'm positive that I am. I'm feeling very upset as my partner has been out of work for a month now and we have a 5 year and 8 month old... I just don't even know how we would be able to afford another baby or how I would cope (none of my family are close to where I live) but I also never imagined myself terminating a pregnancy. My heart is breaking and I need to make a decision. I'm not asking anyone to make it for me but just if anyone has been in a similar situation or has any thoughts. Thank you.
3 Replies
Hugs mumma! It is a massive shock isn't it? We unexpectedly fell pregnant with our third (contraception failed) earlier this year. My first thought when I saw those two lines was "holy crap I can't have another baby - TERMINATE". I have terrible pregnancies, our house is only 3 bedrooms, living on one wage, and already had a 2.5 yr old and a 1 yr old when we found out. We also had help conceiving our first two so I was so confused (and horrified almost) that we had fallen pregnant naturally, let alone on contraception. It really rocked my world, I was already suffering from PND and this was just the straw that broke the camels back as far as I was concerned. But I'm now 21 weeks along, and I already cannot imagine life as being only a family of 4. This baby hasn't even been born yet but I'm starting to feel that excitement and anticipation of holding a newborn in my arms, smelling his sweet soft skin, and eventually having three crazy toddlers running around keeping me busy. It took a lot for me to get to this point of acceptance (literally only last week at the morphology scan did I realise that I do want this), but once my perception of a third child changed from a negative one to a positive one, I had a clear head space and could make an action plan so to speak. My husband and I sat down and worked out that it really isn't going to cost us any more than what having two kids already did. We bought lots of second hand stuff (I'd sold all my baby gear just two weeks before finding out I was pregnant again), and figured out sleeping arrangements in our tiny house. I know my situation is different to yours as you have the added worry of your partner looking for work, but just wanted to offer my story for you to ponder. At the end of the day, the decision as to whether you continue this pregnancy or terminate is yours and your partners decision alone, but seeing a counsellor to help you sort through your feelings would be a great option to ensure the decision you make is one that you feel comfortable with - either way it will be something that you live with for the rest of your life. Sending you lots of strength, big hugs, and no judgement whatsoever xx
I feel for you as I have been there! We had an 7 month old and a 2 year old when I found out we were expecting again! I had severe pnd after my second and was still on strong meds to help with my depression/anxiety when I found out. I never ever thought I could have a termination, was raised in Christian home but I also knew I was not stable enough to cope with the two I had let alone another baby. So we made the decision to terminate and it has been a roller coaster of emotions since but I know in my heart I made the right choice at that time not just for me but my family. I think you shod speak to a counsellor as it's such a difficult choice, lots of love and hugs
It might seem scary now but once the baby is here you wouldn't swap it for the world. I was like that with number 4. Now we have a beautiful 1 year old girl.