Response to some questions on my former post "lies lies lies".
Thanks ladies for all the love and support and helpful hints. Have tried one on one time with dad. But as he has 4 girls he flat out refuses to spend more with one than the others because he doesn't want the other girls to feel left out or act out because they don't get as much one on one time with step/dad.
Have tried several medical options. Believe you me we have tried.
Dad does do the discipline 90% of the time but since he is at work Monday to Friday it's hard for him to walk in the door and start disciplining her. So while at work it's pretty much up to me.
But since writing the previous post things have just spiralled. Yesterday after reminding her it'd her turn to do the breakfast dishes she kindly told me to " just Fuck off". All 4 girls take it in turns to wash breakfast dishes. I feel like I'm constantly talking to her, constantly telling her the same things telling her what'd good and what's not. What has to be done and what she shouldn't be doing. It's ground hog day every day. Yesterday she tried to kick a stool out from under my 7 year old and then proceeded to laugh about it. When she does have 1 on 1 time with dad she comes back ten times worse towards me. She doesn't like any of us being around her dad and will fight with us to keep us away from him. She has said nasty things about our unborn baby and clearly doesn't want her to be born.
As for spending more time with bio mum... Well she gets every third weekend with her and all of the school holidays (court orders not our choice). What makes it harder is bio mum lives 6 hours away and refuses to help because apparently she is our problem while she is down here. She is a nasty woman and doesn't care about anyone but herself. We are at our wits end. Next step is sending her to live with her mum full time. I don't want to not include her but it makes it very hard when we try to do things as a family and she lashes out and doesn't want to be involved which then causes problems with the other kids.
It's hard. She can be an amazing child when She wants to be but an absolute night mare when she isn't getting what she wants.
1 Replies
I read your first post and this one just now.
I might not be stating the popular opinion on here, but how does her behavior affect the other kids? Do they feel safe? Loved? That they are heard? Perhaps her living with her mother for the majority of the time is better for the family as a unit.
We had to make the tough decision to send my 12yr old step son to live with his mother, it was a long process with lots of weighing up of different opinions but what it came down to was what was best for ALL the kids. My other 3 boys were not safe, they got next to no attention because there was always so much drama surrounding the 12yr old, he would hurt them physically and make them do things they didn't want to do just so they would get in trouble then lie to everyone who was trying to help him.
All the best for you and your family, I hope you find a solution that helps you all <3