I don't even know where to start
I am beyond angry with the nasty bitter ignorant assumptions that just keep coming on my previous post.
damned if I do, damned if I don't, why do I feel like I was just scape goated for everything wrong in everyone else's life.
I'm sorry if you can't have kids, that doesn't mean you're entitled to mine, or entitled to expect me to be a human incubator for you.
I'm glad if your birth control works for you, that's great, have all the sex you want and be grateful you don't have to worry about anyone but yourself.
You pay my pension out of your hard earned dollars? Well, thank you, I appreciate it, although I like to think a portion of my income comes from the many years of tax I paid myself, that I will pay again in the future, that my kids dad has paid since he was 14, and will again, that my parents paid, my siblings.
Maybe one day you'll need assistance too, and it might be me paying for you, or my children.
In the meantime, be grateful people "like me" aren't banging down your door to steal your food (the whole purpose of social security in the first place)
I should get a job? Yep, I would love one, who said I wasn't trying? But with 1 job per every 100 seeker, im not holding my breath for a pay cheque this week
Love how everyone was patting shay on the back for her "insightful" comments and judgements on my situation, guess what shay, I KNOW I can't afford another baby!!! Hence my dilemma!!
And for those telling me I'm "not old" and adoption would be "nice", actually I am in terms of birthing, I'm a grand multi para over 35, making this a high risk pregnancy, higher risk of genetic abnormalities in the baby, higher risk of premature birth, still birth, gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, would you look after my children if I died? Would you still be braying for me to "get a job" if I had yet another child with permanent disabilities, this time likely more time consuming than mere autism. I could be looking at Down's syndrome, cerebral palsy, blindness, deafness, intellectual disabilities if the baby was born early.
Not to mention the time away from my family if I was to be put on bed rest (again) or had a premmie baby (again), hard enough when I had a partner at home to help
It's not as simple as picking a lovely family and handing over a picnic basket
But Im the selfish one for not wanting to put my family through all that?
And Jesus, the amount of you saying I don't have the right to have sex anymore now I'm a mum? I feel sorry for your husbands if that's really how you live!! my kids are my world, I do EVERYTHING I can for them, that doesn't mean occasionally I'm not entitled to feel like a grown up, to enjoy half an hour of company. No, we weren't good together as a couple, he's still a good friend and the only man I trust with my kids, I'm not chasing him for a relationship, I don't want one with anyone! But we're 2 consenting adults and I don't actually need your approval, while we're still both single, I'm more than happy with what I get, and the kids have benefited tenfold from the easy relationship their dad and I have now, don't you dare try and tell me my kids should be taken off me or I'm letting them down just because you don't have sex anymore!
I need help with budgeting? I don't know a single parent on the payments I'm on who has $100 left at the end of the week, let alone the $300-800 I would need for an abortion
Which sux, because parents like me are the ones who need the services the most, we are judged, humiliated, degraded all the freaking time, assumed to be junkies, assumed to be sitting on our arses watching big screen TVs all day, lol, nothing could be FURTHER from the truth
But I have a lovely family, we are happy and healthy and I am well aware of how much of a blessing children can be, I don't need a wake up call to appreciate them, I don't need you to tell me to "just get a job", I don't need to put an almighty strain on my family just because your family would cope with it, good for you!
Right now "not wanting to bring a child into such a nasty world as evidenced in IM comments" is right up there in my reasons to abort (and that's from both pro lifers and pro choicers!!!)
Oh, and after reading another IMs question about tube tying, nope, not putting my body through THAT either, especially not for you random critic
I'm extremely grateful for the ones who supported me and stood up for me, just sad you mamas were in the minority
Deeply disappointed, and still scared and lost
7 Replies
Oh hun, so sorry for how you're feeling. It is an extreme let down getting those sorts of comments/advice, and it sure as hell makes you feel low and unworthy! Brush those people off! That's what I do! All you need to take on board are those who understand and give great and helpful advice. Hope you're ok, don't let it get to you. You doing great and doing what is best. And the best thing you've done, is reaching out for help. Good on you! I dont know you but I'm proud of you! ☺ xxx
I would be upset too. People can be judgemental. I too worked before having children, then just recently looked at going back to work after raising my kids to an age where they can go to afterschool care if i got a job. I too applied for job after job just to not even be told I'm not successful. I am 38 and have just found out i am expecting again but this is my partner's first and it wasnt planned at all...the one time we weren't so careful our lives have changed in an instant. In my other post i suggested councelling. I see a psychologist who bulk bills. I went off my anti depressants because i chose to because i chose to keep this baby just like you can choose to abort. Its your life, no one else is living it. I had a termination at 21 because i wasn't ready. I am on newstart so thats why i suggested a cash advance...or also cash converters. If you are adamant for a termination, maybe you can hock something? Anyone who appears perfect and is putting you down because of your situation are fooling themselves. People can be downright arseholes. It is easy to judge from behind a screen....do what you feel is the best thing for you.
Right on the money!!! Every point you made. I didn't even read the original, I'm sorry you had nasty ones, I hope you got enough kind ones to help.Good luck with your decision.
Haha awesome post.
I'm sorry for what you're going through. I remember you post and I didn't comment because I couldn't think of any good advice I could give. I have no idea what I'd do in your situation. Good on you for standing up to the keyboard warriors and I wish you the best of luck xx
I keep wracking my brain to find answers for you. I offered up the idea of respite care (assuming the kids had finished the diagnosis stage). Have you contacted your state child welfare department? I know that sounds awful, but they might be able to organise some temporary foster care.
I'm so sorry for the nasty comments from your previous post. Keep your head high, you are doing nothing wrong by wanting an abortion. No one has to walk in your shoes but you. My advice is contact a few women's heath centres around you. Some will lower the fees under certain circumstances. They are there to help woman who are going through exactly what you are going through at the moment.
Good luck, and I hope everything works out for you.
I was gob smacked when I was reading some of the comments on your post!!! Some of these woman are pigs for thinking the way they did!!! Your post was an actual true life situation and the so called advice that was been given was disgusting!!! I hope that this gets posted on the Facebook page as some of the replies to other posts don't, but in this case it needs to be said!!!! You are an amazing mum that sounds like all you want is the best for your family. I hope you get to keep your baby because by the looks if it your baby's have an amazing mother.xxxx