Please post to Facebook
The care arrangements for my daughter are about to change. We had week about arrangement however her dad is about to become the primary carer. She is 4 years old. There is no bad reason for this, he is just financially in a better situation to put her through school (about to get remarried, both have good jobs, owns their house and his family are more available, parents are retired. I am single, only part time work, renting, my parents still working). We live 250 km apart so will only get her every second weekend and every school holidays, alternating years for easter and christmas.
My question is I want to give her something to remind her of me whenever she needs me and I'm not there but I can't think of anything. Need suggestions/ideas.
Reminder for daughter while at dads
Reminder for daughter while at dads
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Parenthood Guilt, Health & Wellbeing, Kids
7 Replies
your phone number, a photo album, a special teddy bear
A cushion or a quilt made out of your clothes (or a mixture of yours and hers) that she hug or wrap herself in.
You can get teddy bears that you record a message in so she can hear you say good night and I love you etc.
You could also record some of her favourite stories on a cd so she can hear you read her a story at night time while she reads the book.
If she has access to a computer or ipad you could also skype each other regularly.
Well done IM for putting your child first.
What about those daddy dolls? They use them for fido workers one side has a pic of you the other is material...
What a tough decision that would have been for you! You are a very courageous and loving mother.
Maybe record yourself on video talking to her with everything you can think of saying to her- advice and facts about things you have experienced in life that you might want to pass on to her so that she can watch it as she is growing up and learn things from mum. A mothers advice in life is so important and invaluable i believe. That way she can always play it back and remember you and also say to herself when she gets older "my mum taught me that"
Hope all goes well
Isn't your love more important than finance. Sorry I just don't get how u could give up ur child like that.
If this could be posted to Facebook too would be appreciated.
OP here:
Firstly I thought about this decision for over 12 months before entering into discussions with her dad for the last six months. We have a legal parenting orders made and in the order is a yearly review to ensure that our daughter is happy with the arrangements. There is also an out written in that if she becomes too distressed and it simply just doesn't work or there is a major change in job/living arrangements we can bring the review forward. I should have worded it better but dad works mainly late shifts while his fiancé works earlys. there is always one of them home to get her ready for school and be there when she gets home but if they need a break what so ever his parents are readily available. My current job starts well before school and finishes after school. I would barely see her on work days. If she remained with me she would be constantly shuffled between at least four houses plus daycare/school. It is hard and extremely difficult and something that I am still emotionally struggling with but her education and stability must come first. Moving is not an option as her dad lives rurally and there is little to no job opportunities and rent is very high. She will still be with me every second weekend and every school holidays plus any extra weekends she wants or dad has an event to go to. It works out to be around 40/60 care on the years I have her for Easter and Christmas. I am not abandoning her.
Thank you for all of the suggestions, bears are a clear favorite but the blankets and the scrapbooking ideas are right up there too especially the idea of adding a page every visit she has with me.