I am a female and my partner is male. He does not want to have sex with me very often and this has made me feel unwanted, unattractive and unloved. I also feel like a freak because all females I know seem to have the opposite problem and have partners who always want it. My partner would just try to sweep it under the rug but it has been upsetting me way too much. I feel like we are just house mates and not even in a relationship. He has agreed to see a doctor with me to try and raise his libido. Has anyone been through anything similar and had a positive outcome?
5 Replies
I don't have any advice for you but my first thought was, be careful what you wish for!
He's obviously still committed to you and the relationship if he is taking your feelings and.concerns seriously and.has agreed to see a doctor so I'm sure it's not that he's not attracted to you or anything like that. It could be something as simple as a hormone imbalance. Try not to think that you're the problem as I'm sure this is not the case at all!!
I'm glad he is willing to go to the doctor.
Some things that effect male libido off of the top of my head
1. Excess alcohol consumption
2. Drugs
3. Obesity
4. Heart problems
5. Depression
6. Certain medications
7. Sleep issues
Hope you find some answers. I have a high sex drive and dated a guy with low sex drive so I know how bad it can feel.
Does he watch much porn? I've heard that some guys get desensitised to regular sex if they are heavy porn addicts.
On another note, my personal experience, My husband isn't a huge lover of sex all the time. We've been together 14rs now. He's very busy, works long hrs, comes home and helps out with the kids (we have 3, and #4 is due in 12weeks), helps put them to bed, sometimes does more work before we go to bed. He's happy with sex 2 times a week, were as I would love it at least 3 times a week but he's just sooo busy, has a lot on. He has his own business so him mind is always thinking of work, does he have enough work, do they have too much work, how are they going to complete this on time, etc etc. We go to bed around 9.30 and he's up at 5am, 6 days a week, so I understand why he gets very tired. We kinda have a rule, if we're in bed before 9.30 its usually get it on time, but after 9.30 the chances are very low, unless its been a few days and I can't go without it.
I think its great your partner is willing to see a doctor it sounds like he's still very into the relationship and wants to work at it.
I'm in the same boat and find it really upsetting. Unfortunately my husband couldn't care less and I try to talk about it but get shot down. I've pretty much given up on having any sex and like you feel like we are house mates now and it's so depressing.
I have this issue too. I started red ginseng and oh my goodness! Sex drive has increased, I have more energy and it has improved my mood so much I have been able to reduce the dose of my antidepressant (been on them for 3yrs after diagnosis of major depressive disorder and ptsd). It's not for everyone and it does interact with certain medications, but it may be worth looking in to. Good luck!