I have a partner who has gained too much weight too quickly. He has health problems but I can't even get him to consider going to the doctor. He only does exercise once a week and the rest of the time on his bed or computer. I've tried talking to him and all I get is "I'm fine" (which I know isn't true) my problem is that I don't like who he has become. Selfish, lazy and apathetic. I feel totally alone now, whereas before we had a fantastic relationship now even talking is hard! How do I help him?! (I really want to use a cattle prod on him....) thankyou very much
4 Replies
You cant help someone who doesnt want help.
You can try encouraging him to exercise and eat healthy but as they say 'you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink'
Is there an underlying problem to his lack of zest in life? Depressed? Work problem? Family problem? Or run down? If its one of these things you can try talking with him about it to try to resolve the issue. If hes just lazy and ut drives you up the wall then you dont have to stay.
This is going to sound harsh. So ill explain that I was your husband but female. I lost myself, ate for comfort and felt awful. I was so depressed. But when I did this the only person I was letting down was me and I sought treatment.
It is ok as his partner not to put up with. And by that I mean it's ok to be honest and tell him how you feel, that you are scared, that you feel like he has abandoned you, that you are scared for him and his health physically and mentally. Tell him he needs to get help because you can't be the o
Then set an end date for the marriage in your mind. For you that may be 12 months or it might be 6 months. That's the date that if he hasnt gotten himself help that it's time to end the relationship. Because it takes two people to make it work and you can't make it work with someone who has checked out, and then everyone comes depressed, lethargic and unhappy.
There is also a huge difference between staying with someone who is unwell but is doing what they need to do to get well and stating with someone who refuses to help themselves.
110% this.
What is his diagnosis?
I have epilepsy which influenced some really fucked up lifestyle choices and affected my outlook in life and made me very low self esteem wise and vulnerable.
I was targeted by a pedofile and sexually assaulted x2 by this "man." Then my family took his side.
I now have PTSD, GAD and depression. I was diagnosed after I was triggered in Sept just recently.
I also have a lot of self loafing and generally hate myself.
He sounds like he has more going on with himself than just the medical aspect. I would make an appointment and take him.