Hi to all the beautiful mummas out there.. Sorry to ask this on here but I dont want to burdon my friends as they all have bigger issues going on. I really would love some advise if you can help me.. I am a mum of 4 (3 of them are under 4 years old) This morning I dropped my two girls at kindy and noticed the neatly dressed pretty mums, hair done, make up on.. Then I went to Noosa Civic and felt so inadequate, I had a full anxiety attack and had to leave. I noticed I was wearing tracksuit pants (smeared with snot), an ugly baggy shirt, thongs, unbrushed teeth and hair zero makeup.. I am so ashamed...How do you manage to look so amazing? I feel like I have completely given up on myself and have no care or pride in my appearance anymore (my poor husband lol) Of course my kids are always dressed neatly with hair done, well fed etc but I don't even eat until 1pm and even then, its an apple or a plain cracker to ease the hunger pains. My clothes are all torn, missing buttons and in tatters - I've had them so long and not been able to afford to upgrade them in years. I actually don't even own makeup! I have 1 pair of thongs and 1 pair sneakers and that's it!!!
Can you please advise me on how you budget yourselves in to the equation and secondly how do you motivate yourselves to take pride in your appearance on a daily basis.
Thank you mummas! XO
7 Replies
I've been there.
It really is hard to get right and I'm a work in progress. Firstly you have to give yourself permission to take care of yourself, and take the time for yourself. You count as much, as the rest of the family! And recognising that is the hardest step. If you don't look after you, who will be there for your kids if you burn out?
I find big changes hard to manage so I like to make a change a week. Build things into your routine. So when you brush your kids hair brush your own. Takes 2 minutes. When that is established add a new habit of drinking a protein shake while you feed the kids, when that is established, add on brushing your teeth at the same time as the kids brush there teeth.
As far as budgeting goes, sometimes that means my kid doesn't get quite as many presents at christmas )which seriously who needs that much stuff anyway) or nobody buys brand name clothes but we shop in target/kmart/bigw. We shop smart, and my kid and I don't have any more clothes or shoes than necessary. One pair of sneakers each, one pair of winter shoes and one pair of summer shoes (while feet are growing, they just don't need anymore than that) I have more because my feet don't grow and I've accumulated over years. So have a think about what everyone really needs, and that will help you address the balance so your needs are met too.
Great reply. Doing your personal care routine with the kids teaches them too :) And I'm proud to Op-Shop - I get fantastic cast offs (often never worn) for a few $ - even shoes. And I had a 'Hand-me-down' club with other mums and we'd pass on through the kids - mine to theirs and back again down the ages. I was, and am, proud of my ability to raise my kids on a lean budget - and all my kids have turned out really well :) And never forget your kids love you in whatever you wear - they even want to join you in the loo, for crying out loud :o)
I shop at second hand clothing stores. You can find some really good clothes there. There's no real need for makeup doing your hair and brushing your teeth is probably enough. My toothbrush is in my kitchen. I brush my teeth while I'm getting the kids breakfasts ready. My hair brush by the front door on my computer table. My hair gets brushed and put up. Mostly into a quick bun. Those mums that look perfect in the morning probably get up and hour before their kids do to get ready and you know what they aren't perfect in every way. No one is perfect. Getting up half an hour earlier than you do is always going to make life easier. But it's not always possible. Chin up mumma we all go through periods like this.
I think its all about taking that time be it 5 or 50 mins for yourself!! Only you can slow down and give yourself that time to put some moisteriser which can be homemade easily enough or some blusher which again easy to make at home !! I disagree wit a few of the comments about ladies who do take pride in their appearance as full of themselves self centred how wrong !! On one hand women sat ohh dont be a doormat and take time for you be it put on a little bit of make up etc so why do we as women shoot fellow women down and who cares if they are full of slap is that not their choice !! Really why is it that the women who took those 5 or 50 mins is being ridiculed by other women who is supporting another women who feels bad when she looks at the made up women because she cudn or wudn take the 5 or 50 mins to make her feel good !! I give up ?
Oh I could have written this myself. I work in childcare (at home) so I feel like I don't NEED to make an effort as I'm around children all day. My clothes are faded and just look terrible. I go to preschool to drop my child off and here are these other mothers who look amazing, dressed beautifully and have their hair and make up done so nice. I haven't upgraded my wardrobe in years and I keep telling myself that I must go and shop for myself instead of for my kids and husband but when I do, I get all depressed because there's nothing that I feel looks nice on me so I go back to my 'comfortable clothes'
I'm not sure if I'm one of the 'neatly dressed pretty mums' you see (lol) but I've always pulled my hair into a neat ponytail (30 secs) and brushed my teeth (2 mins max with electric toothbrush) and put on jeans and a decent top or a dress/tunic with leggings, or something easy to just throw on with minimal thought. Dressing takes another 2 minutes. So that's no more than 5 minutes I've spent just so I don't feel like crap walking my kids into school. I have found it easier since my 3yo can eat her breakfast a bit more independently - that's usually when I manage to find that 5 minutes. I have a few pairs of $10 Kmart jeans (nobody would know, they're actually quite nice!), and a stash of tops/tshirts/singlets/cardigans that all go with jeans (mostly Kmart or Target), and a couple of dresses/tunics/skirts (Kmart/Target) that can go over black leggings. I usually have ballet flats (again, cheap as chips from Kmart or Big W). I buy cheap dangly earrings occasionally from Big W, they have great jewellery for a only a few bucks if you find good sales. I don't bother with makeup for the school run, but I usually put it on for work (midwife/RN, 2-3 shifts a week) and some other occasions if I feel like I need the boost. I use Garnier BB cream for foundation, Maybelline mascara (last time I bought it was half price for $10 from Coles) and put a bit of colour in my cheeks with some cheap blush or bronzer. Once you get good at it it's only 5 or 10 mins, and I honestly feel like I look 5+ years younger and fresher once the foundation has covered up all my age spots and zits! And to be honest I barely notice what other mums wear usually, unless it's particually note-worthy! There's one mum who always wears really tight, short skirts and dresses, and she's really quite a large lady. And I wish I had her confidence!! So I often notice her haha. But other than that, I'm not bothered by other people's appearance. I just like to feel ready to tackle anything in the mornings, and my 10 buck Kmart jeans seem to do the trick! I'd just get one or two items a week for a while and slowly transform your wardrobe. Hope this helps xo
My daily outfit is jeans, t shirt and runners. Its comfy. I wake up wash my face- i don't wear make up as i don't like it- brush my hair i recently had it cut short so its easy to maintain put deodorant on, brush teeth if i remember and head out the door. I don't really care what people think. If i can look in the mirror and be satisfied with the reflection it's all ok. Maybe get up a bit earlier and have a shower by yourself to relax and wake up. I say this because the only time I'd get to wash myself up until recently is by sharing a bath with my daughter. Go to op shops you can find brand new clothes with tags attached in most and pay a lot less than new. Take it a step at a time and you will start to notice a change not just in your appearance but moods and how others are towards you.
Goodluck :)