I found out I was pregnant last week, when I told the father. He turned around and said um I have a gf and she's 14 weeks pregnant, I was so shocked and disgusted. But I've decided to keep the baby. I msged him to let him know and he has just ignored me :( . I was thinking should I just carry on without him or should I keep trying to make contact with him? I'm happy to go it alone and I'm happy to let him be involved. But this is so emotionally draining and heart breaking that his ignoring me :(
5 Replies
Big hugs. You are going to have to develop a thick skin I'm afraid. Let him go his own way, and make plans to do this alone. Of course it hurts, nobody likes to be broken up with, but really you've had a lucky escape! You wouldn't want him to be with you now, when you know he is a player. You'd never be able to trust him.
The best thing I did when I was pregnant to an equally bad guy was get legal advice. Make your self very informed as to your rights, babies rights and fathers rights (in case he pops back into the scene). There is no hurry to do it, but do it before the baby arrives.
I know it's a shock when you find yourself pregnant and single, but you've got this. You can do this, and you and your baby can have an awesome life.
I wouldnt bother persuing him, it sounds like u and your baby are better off without him. I would however get as much info as u can, name, dob, address, employer ect. for child support and if ur baby wants it down the road. As for the girlfriend, i think if i was in her position i would want to know, especially as youve decided to keep the baby. Better she has all the facts now rather than down the track as these things always have a way of coming out. Best of luck with everything
You are going to have to get your head around your child will be going alone with this man for visiting on weekends etc for the next 18 years. Trust me once he has to pay child support he will make your life tough. Be prepared for his girlfriend to be rude to you and manipulate him into what is best for their child not yours.
Find out and sort out your financial responsibility from centrelink, maternity leave etc and child care.
Best of luck, and please don't get caught up with him anymore than you are. Trust me the best thing that could happen is he go away.
A friend of mine went through a similar thing. Guy turned around and told her he had a gf and didnt want anything to do with her. She tried to get him involved but it didnt work. Fast forward to now. She has a beautiful 2 year old daughter and has had a lot of support from us and her family and she couldnt be happier. She has her little girl to herself and doesnt have to share her with some asshole who didnt want anything to do with her. She didnt put him on the birth certificate either. Shes now in a new relationship with a great guy and has a newborn daughter to him. He has adopted her first daughter as his own. I know its hard, but stay strong. I hope it all works out for you as well. Xoxo
I do feel sorry for you hun, & the guy is obviously a RAT. You are brave to keep the baby and to be thinking ahead. I wish you all the best!
but I''m also just gonna come out & say this ... without judging the IM above but regardless this advice is for EVERY woman & girl ... wait until you are Seriously in a long-term & committed relationship before having sex!! Sperm + egg = baby! And 'safe sex' is just an excuse (often for the guy, but also for females) to give in to lust & play around & be supposedly free of any responsibility or long-term plans. Be a family unit (married) before you just get naked & physically intimate, and it would save a lot of heartache and situations like this. Okay, marriage doesn't always last unfortunately, but that is the Christian way and is a great standard to hold yourself & your partner to.