Ok, my husband and I are expecting our third child and I'm hoping this issue is down to hormones but would like to know if others have experienced this. While I love the bubs and can't wait to meet him / her I'm finding it hard to get excited or feel anything towards bubs. I would be devestated if something was to happen but with our others I was so excitedand with this one I feel nothing. My husband and I are going through finance problems and bubs was a surprise but we are over the moon s we always wanted three. I'm just finding it hard to bond. I'm only 10 weeks. Please can someone tell me they have experienced this and that it will change once I see bubs and feel it move. I'm really scared right now about these feelingsso please no negative comments. Thankyou sister hood xo
9 Replies
Don't be so hard on yourself, it's the third baby, unplanned and bit when you would have planned. Also it's only 10 weeks and the way you worded it you actually do sound excited. You've got plenty of time to bond and i found I didn't bond until the baby starts to move and I'm starting to show.
I guess I just feel like a terrible mum as I feel so different with this one than with my girls and that I can't talk to anyone about it as they will think I'm alwful
Your so not awful!!! And most of all don't punish yourself. Unexpected pregnancies are different because you haven't gone through all that hope and trying part that occurs when you try for a baby. If your close to your mum or even grandmother they may understand because in their generation you had no idea you were pregnant until you are well past 10 weeks and most babies were a surprise!
Thank you for your advice. I spoke to my mum (I'm child 4 and was not planned). She said while she never went through it as she always wanted 4 she understands why I feel the way I do given our current finance situation and just said to give it some time and wait to see and feel bubs.
I went through the same thing with my 3rd. It was unexpected, I was also an older mum (over 35) and I just didn't think I would cope. It did eventually get better with time and I did end up getting excited, but I certainly wasn't at the start.
Yeah I'm 36 and was still deciding if I really wanted a third
I found this alittle with my 3 rd pregnancy. I found it wasn't because I wasn't happy or didn't care about the baby but more that I was just so busy I didn't have time to sit and feel baby and enjoy the pregnancy, at the time I was working full time had 2 other kids to run after and was doing majority of the house chores. It wasn't till I gave up work that I was able to get a real attachment while I was pregnant
Im pregnant with #4 also a surprise just hit the half way make and there honestly isn't the same excitement as my older children, in fact I didn't feel the same amount of excitement with #2 as #1 or #3 as #2. I think with older children there is more happening in your life that it isn't as easy to sit and enjoy being pregnant as it is with your first. I dont think it makes you a terrible mum I think it shows that you love all your children, and at 10 weeks it can be hard to be excited as your still in the scary trimester of pregnancy. Be kind to yourself and even if you don't have the same level of excitement during pregnancy with this little bundle Im sure you will love him/her as much as your older children
Totally understand how you feel. When I found out I was pregnant again my dd was 7 months and I cried for days.
I wasn't ready to do it all again and financially we are not ready for two. I'm 30 weeks now and definitely don't bond with the pregnancy like I did with my first. I am excited about meeting bub but their is a lot of anxiety and stress also.
I have a few friends who are ttc and are not having positive results so I always feel guilty if I was to tell them how scared I am.
I have found the further I did get along the easier it got on me but it's still scary as hell.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Goodluck!