Hey fellow IM's, I have something really shocking and upsetting to get off of my chest and hopefully get some answers in return. I dropped my son (3yrs old) off at his dad's house the other weekend for his overnight stay. As his dad and I were talking, I heard what sounded like a woman screaming/moaning coming from my sons Ipad that he was watching. I walked over immediately and looked at the Ipad screen, to my horror I saw a dog having sex with a woman and my son was sitting there with this confused and unsure look on his face. I just turned it off and took my ex into the other room and asked him what the f**k that porn was doing on our sons Ipad!!?? His reply was "shit, I'm so so sorry, I forgot to delete it"...I was totally taken back by his response as he didn't really seem to show much remorse and all, but anyways I told him he shouldn't be looking at those things let alone on our SONS Ipad when he has a laptop and phone to look at what he wants on. The more I think about it, the more I worry each time my son is with his dad - I don't like my ex nor do I think he is the father I thought he'd be/should be, but at the end of it all, my son loves him and he needs/wants to see his daddy at this age, so is there anything I can do that will ensure the safety of my sons emotional/mental well being whilst staying at his dads place? I just don't want my son exposed to those images, he is way too young and innocent - it makes me sick to my stomach that my son saw what he saw. Thanks for the support/advice in advance xo
IM, Sydney.
4 Replies
I'm so sorry your son saw that, it's totally disturbing for me as an adult to see that kind of thing. Personally I'd seek advise from child protection services in your state. exposing children to porn is totally not on! That it even occurs to him to watch it on your child's iPad shows he has a lack of boundaries. I'm not one to recommend reporting but I think this is serious.
Put a filter on your sons iPad, make safari and downloading apps ect unavailable (go into restrictions change the pin to random numbers and turn off everything you need to). It's not on watching porn on his child's iPad full stop. You can't stop it on his phone or computer but you can at least lower the risk of your child being exposed to it.
That kind of stuff is disturbing for me as an adult to see too, & children definitely shouldn't see it! I would also put a filter on your sons iPad, as 'forgetting' to delete it isn't an excuse, it should happen somewhere private & somewhere private ONLY. I don't know how far you would get if you reported it, so I would keep the iPad home with you if it is mainly for your house. Other than that I have no other advice but I too, would be as mortified as you are that his father is showing such lack of responsibility as a father. He needs to set a good role as what he says & does, your son will follow on with as his Dad is the main male in his life & his role model. I think his Dad needs to step up & put what's important before his own filthy needs.
Wow that's awful! Isn't there parental limits you can set on iPad so that doesn't happen again?? I think a big talk with your Ex is in order and set some rules ASAP.