I have just moved to where I dont know anyone. I have no family or friends. I only have my partner and he works 12 hr days 6 days a week. Even when hes home I spend it cooking dinner getting the kids ready for bed and by the tims I finally get my 1yro to sleep im so drained I want bed. Im so lonely but I feel guilty going anywhere with out my partner. I dont like going out with my kids anymore because its just a constant battle and I usually feel like im about to just burst into tears and want to take them home. Im really resenting becoming a mother and it kills me to say that but ita true. The thought of suicide goes through my head alot but I couldnt leave my kids with out a mother. They deserve so much more than that. They deserve so much more than I feel like I can give them. No matter all the cuddles I give them It just feels like they would be so much happier with someone else looking after them. I just want to go away for some me time but that makes me feel selfish due to my partner having to stay home after hes earnt the money id be spending. I dont know.what I need to be happy but im worried what will happen if I dont find it soon!
10 Replies
Ok, breathe. I think you are right - you need a time out! You are a family, Its not selfish & its necessary , a priority, to look after mum, especially when you're already at this point.
I think you need a timeout,& when you come back, come with a new attitude.get the kids into sports or hobbies, join groups or classes yourself, if in doubt see a councillor, mine helped me immensely to organise my life so i had me time, was making myself happy & my house now runs much happier- i actually enjoy it. There is a formula, but it takes some proactive steps by you to make the changes & make it happen. Please arrange your time out! Xx
I have thought about councilling I think I really need it but its something ill need to go alone and I cant get alone time. I have a 1 yro and a 3 yro so too young for sports etc.. :(
Hi, my counsellor was fantastic with my 1 yr old daughter, I took her to every appointment and she had toys in her room.
Call around & see if any offer childminding,my 3 year old sat & coloured behind us once or twice.but i don't think a one year old would be that easy. The fact you cant get an hour to do something so important for your wellbeing says a lot. Could you consider putting them in daycare one or two days a week so you have that time? It would make a world of difference to you.
You absolutely HAVE to Have time out. I think there are very few mothers who don't need time out. I couldn't be with my kids all day every day without quality adult interaction without going absolutely bonkers. And I just don't know who said sacrificing your sanity was a good quality in a mother!
Don't feel guilty about your partner being left alone with HIS kids. Looking after kids is different to going to work. He should WANT to spend time alone with his kids.
Find a day care centre/family day care or occasional care that you can book your kids into for one day a week. You absolutely need this time, no excuses.
Thank you all. Ive had my little cry now. Definately decided im going to a councillor kids or no kids I need it. My partner is supportive he just doesnt know how to help me. I dont even know how to help me. He would love to have one on one time with our kids but his new job works till late in the evening some times but never usually home before 5 which makes anything during business hours hard... I tried calling to make an app but they were closed
Thanks again for your suggestions. Have a great weekend
Im so glad youre taking steps, it will get better! It only took a few little changes in my household & the difference was so big. Go to your gp & explain how you feel & they will write you a referral to a counsellor, then its free. You still choose your own & book it yourself. Good luck!
Thank you all. Ive had my little cry now. Definately decided im going to a councillor kids or no kids I need it. My partner is supportive he just doesnt know how to help me. I dont even know how to help me. He would love to have one on one time with our kids but his new job works till late in the evening some times but never usually home before 5 which makes anything during business hours hard... I tried calling to make an app but they were closed
Thanks again for your suggestions. Have a great weekend
Where do you live? I also moved around 6 months ago and feel very lonely as my husband works a lot! Send me a pm if you want to chat we could live close.