Pleas imperfect mum do not post this to facebook- I am looking for support and know I won't get it on fb and it will just cause a firing squad- I'm too exhausted to go through that after the last month. I'm hoping on her someone might want to reply annonymous...
If you don't have an answer to my question just scroll on - this is not directed at you and you're input is likely the very thing I'm exhausted from- so please just scroll on and keep this post to just the people iv directed the question to
Can anyone help? .. I'm feeling depleted and a bit worried and I'm wanting to hear about any other parents who will lose the rebate and what they've done to counter it. Our situation is I have chosen to selectively vaccinate my child so I am not elible for child care rebates- we are low income- but after saving for a long time- we've just bought our first home 6 weeks ago with a little surprise ofone on the way. I was thrilled about that to but now we are going to struggle for the next 6 years. I was offered a position at my friends business and was going to put my child (2 and a half)in care next month. Now iv done the math and even if I find a care who will take her (given their new power to reject non vaccinated children next year) it's just no worth while going back to work any more- expectially in 2 years with two in care
We had plan to fly my husband family over from Spain for this baby and show them our new home ect ect. Now it's just put us on just meeting needs for the next 6 years. I feel depleted and angry. I know we will be ok- I'm very good with our money but I guess I'm just after either a little support after the barrage of hate iv had - and what any one else's sulotions are? We live in tweed- does anyone know any family day care who will at least consider a partially vaccinated child? Considering th vaccines we do have? Or a care group or something?! I was just going to day swap with a friend of mine in a similar position - but she is now considering moving back to her native country next month! Iv just switched off for the last week cos I was exhausted from it all- but now I have to start thinking about our options
Thanks ladies
And remeber if your just replying to let me know you vaccinate and your glad- just scroll on this was not asked to you. If you don't support my choice ...that's fine I respect your right to your opinion and freedom to chooses whats best form your child ... Please do the same for me. I'm not after a debate im after a solution to my care needs
✌️
22 Replies
I don't have any advice for you. I just wanted to say good on you for sticking to your guns and doing what you think is best for your children even though they have made it extremely hard for you.
I know what it can be like and people are very mean about this topic.
You are an awesome mum and a strong woman.
Xx
Try some private carers or a baby sitter! Often mums will offer a care in their home for a little extra money and cheap so. They can be with their children themselves! Or even a nanny 2 days a week etc. There's plenty of choices
Must you work? I mean is it a financial necessity? Can you cut the budget any way to reduce the cost of living?
If financially you need to work could you get a job that can be done outside of the hours your hubby works? Night fill at a supermarket, waitressing, party plans or some other home based business that would allow you to work of a weekend or evening.
It would be best to make this happen asap so that you beat the rush!
One other option could you find other like minded people in your area and "share care" of a group of your kids?
Personally I vaccinate... However, I believe all parents have the right to make their own choices so no judgement from me at all :-) I am very much pro choice... Hope you get some good advice regarding the rebate but with regards to finding somewhere that will accept children that aren't vaccinated I suggest looking at all your options. I would enquire with all day cares in your area and ask them straight up how they will deal with the new changes. I would also look into family daycare too - they may be more accommodating? Maybe you will find a daycare mum/carer that is like-minded? Good luck darl :-) Also if this does get posted to FB don't even bother reading the comments because they will be totally judgemental and catty. I can see it now... It will turn into a massive debate on vaccination and nothing about answering your question. Take care :-)
G et a sitter! Will be much cheaper then paying full fee for two kids in day care. If you get a young girl or an older lady (in SOME cases) it can be cheaper then youR regular nanny
Would a live in nanny suit your situation? You could offer free board and bills paid ect, in exchange of looking after your little ones while you work.
Are you aware that the "No jab, no pay" policy remains just that at this point in time? A policy. An idea. It is yet to make it through parliament as legislation and I can't work out whether it will or not. So at the moment you are worrying for no reason.
Personally I vaccinate myself and my child but I don't agree with this policy at all. I don't believe it will have an impact on vaccination rates.
Even if it is passed it usually doesn't come into effect for some time after.
it comes into effect jan 2016, neither party disputes this policy so will pass with no problems, best to prepared
Have you looked into say an au pair? I know it's only 2 days a week but maybe you could take it up to say 3-4 days and that would bring in more and you would have live in help that isn't expensive?
In a roundabout way this advice may help you, there are still drs who are completely against vaccinations, an no doubt with be against this no jab no pay idea and may be willing to "help" with the forms. I don't want to say too much but I think you get what I'm saying. Try becoming part of natural alternatives pages for Australia or raising natural children you may be able to find a dr in your area through these networks. Good luck mumma
Well done! You are not alone! And I am PROUD of you :)
A few options I have thought of: getting an au pair. This would be my go to option. Cheaper then day care and much more helpful! Personally id go with a private arrangement and get someone more flexiblr (willijg to work more hours ect).
Reach out to your local mums and dads! Here on fb we have a local "natural parenting" group as well as a local "homeschoolers" group and "unschoolers" group. These types of groups usually feature local people who might be able to assist with care :) and if there isnt a group? Make one!! Make that village!
Thank you so much ladies, tere were some great ideas I think I can use them! And it has lifted a worry weight off my shoulders!!!!
And thank you so sooo much for the words of encouragement!!! I actually cried.
Over the past month iv had family and friends i ally know our decisions and it's resulted in lost friends- and worst my sister now says my children are not welcome around hers if they are not vaccinated- that she is sorry he loves me but her children's health are her priority. It's left me feeling so worn and defeated- but I still feel I have made the correct choices for my children.
So thank you lovely ladies so very much for helping with ideas , brightening my day and lightening the load iv carried these weeks xxxxx
I commented above... Sounds like you are having a rough trott... I'm so sorry about your family especially your sister :-( I can't beleive she would actually minimise contact or cut it. Does she know that a vaccinated child can still carry these viruses. That's why it is called a vaccine not a cure. She needs to open her mind and understand that it's not black and white. And that's from a mum that has made the decision to vaccinate :-) It is a big decision and I made it after a lot of research.
Unfortunatly she is passionate and one sided she won't listen - she believes non vaccinated children shouldn be allowed in schools either. we talked about it a bit and she just said to me every piece of anti vax propaganda has been proven false. So I know she will never listen. We have always been very different and our opinions are rarely shared but this seems to be the straw that broke the camels back. I'm so sad about it because in spite of our difference I love her very much and adore her kids. She is a wonderful mother even though she does things the complete opposite. She has always taken care of me my whole life and is actually. A very. Kind generous person...iv always withheld my choice from her because I feared this would be the outcome but it came out through a comment a friend made not knowing I hadn't told my sister.
It has been hard. But there's not much I can do and that's why I feel so sad- just have to let it go.
Thankyou again
Hope you can sort through things with her soon... Sounds like a real shame. Mostly for the kids :-( good luck...
Try to remember that she's not trying to hurt you, she's just doing what she feels is best for her kids, the same as you are. I do vaccinate and personally, I think I would have the same stance as your sister. This is in no way an attack on you, I just wanted to make sure you understood that she's not making this choice to hurt you. There have been many choices that my husband and I have made for our little boy that have put people in our family offside e.g.. no visits to father in laws house as his gf is a.chain smoker and.smokes inside. This resulted in them feeling as though father in law was.missing out, however we were not going.to waiver as we were not prepared to put our sons health in jeopardy because someone wanted to force their choices on us (not saying you're forcing your choices onto your sister). So I know.it hurts but please know that she's doing.what she has to for her kids :)
Good luck!
I know she's not doing it to hurt me but she's hurting our kids the most. And it's worse because she has 2 friends who have children who can't be immunised, one is her sons best friend- by that logic even given a medical reason for not vaccinating she shouldn't allow her children to be friends with them. Because it's still an unvaccinated child. And the vaccines I have chosen not to get Can't affect her kids. It's a scare response and that's why it hurts. Her vaccinated child can infect my children (who are babies) the same as my partially vaccinated children could infect hers (who are 10 and 8)
Why would you let your child around a non vaccinated child because of a medical reason and not because of a conscious choice. It won't change the fact that the child is unvaccinated
I think it depends on if you plan on fully vaccinating over a longer period of time ( i know that some ppl prefer to split the vaccines up) but it seems like this may be your only option if you wish to get any rebates or centrelink help. I vaccinate my kids but i do respect other ppls choices but as i said it looks like your options are only pointing in one direction if you wish to have any extra help and in NSW where i live you already cant enroll an unvaccinated child into care. to be honest im not sure you will find a family daycare that will accomidate as they still have to follow rules, also now using religion cannot be used as excuse either. all i can say is good luck
Does the fact that your child is partially vaccinated not count. I don't get the new policy but I know if you get doctors notes to support your choice you can appeal it with centrelink. Good luck darl
No real way around it unless you have a valid concern/drs concern of a bad reaction, no way to appeal from 2016 even the religious excuse isnt enough
Kelly here - from the Imperfect Mum team.
I am scheduling questions at the moment and I wanted to say I am SO INCREDIBLY PROUD of this question! Wow!
For those who have commented kindly, to those who haven't commented and scrolled on - and especially to the mum who has asked the question - for her kind use of words, and trust in this website community!
Wow ladies... You have filled me with hope in this page and a kinder community! SO so proud! Thank you!
Not posting to facebook, and so happy to read that the responses have helped mum! Yeay!
Hugs! xKelly