Hi, I'm just after some advice/opinions regarding my current situation. I have 2 young children (7 months, 2.5 years) and separated from their father mid last year.
It was a messy break up and he hasn't moved on, not even close. He's depressed and understandably, it upsets him that I am happier without him. He makes comments about me and my family/friends, trying to hurt me and bring me down.
Now he wants to have the children on overnight visits. Until now it had just been day visits twice a week.
I'm not sure what his/my rights are in this situation as I don't feel our children are safe with him. Both of the children wake all through the night and are early birds, which was something that he couldn't deal with even when we were together and I was doing everything.
He's also depressed and needs drugs and alcohol to get through his life. How can I let my children go to him? He's got the worst temper I've ever experienced and while he's never struck the children/myself, I've never really given him the chance because I've always been there to look after my kids, doing everything for him.
He says he'll change, but how can I trust that?? I know he has a right to 50/50 care, but they're so young and fragile, I don't want his mistakes costing my children's health/lives.
What can I do in this situation?
Thank you.
Overnight share care of baby.
Overnight share care of baby.
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Baby & Toddler
3 Replies
Trust your instincts!!! Get legal advice.
One thing I've discovered is you have no rights. No parent does. Sounds mean but get orders in place asap. My ex and i went through a messy break up, took him awhile to move on and even now tries to control me through our child.
I was bullied into 50 / 50, had no support and no self esteem. Now i see what my child went through, being passed around. He's had an unstable childhood so far and isn't the bubbly boy he was and should be.
Don't fall victim to 'kids need to know their dad'. Yes they do and so far you've made sure they have but for your sake and your kids get orders put in place or your ex can just decide to keep them and you can't do ANYTHING about it. Mine did that. Put something official in place to protect all of you.
Sorry if that's a bit gloomy, don't want to see others go through what Im still fighting. Good luck mummy, never ignore your instincts.
There are no winners in this one. I think maybe best to get it sorted through the court. Remember if they make a decision and anything worrying comes up after, you have every right to ask them to reassess. Keep evidence of anything that you consider worrying as far as your children go.
No way in the world would I leave my babies with someone who takes drugs, drinks and can't handle the normal behavior of very small children. Over my dead body.