ok other IM, sorry for a long rant, I'm not sure if advice can be given or if I really just need a supportive place to vent but overbearing in-laws?
I have actually had a reasonable relationship with my in-laws for the past 10 years, I guess our bond has been stronger as I don't have siblings, grand parents or parents of my own. But they have always been very over involved and publicly shared strong options on things that really are not their concern e.g what and how we spend our money, or even the type of contraception we are using etc but lately it has reached a hurtful high school bullying level to the point where I simply don't even want to answer the phone anymore, to be lectured and made feel like crap! We are currently struggling financially (who isnt) as I was recently made redundant and we are now a 1 income family of 5, it is apparent, from abusive phone calls I have taken (telling me that there is no reason for us to struggle that basically I just can't budget and buy crap) that my husbands supposed income and what and how we supposedly spend our $ is being discussed by the family, I have even been fielding private messages on fb asking about situations etc only to find out the other person is actually sitting right next to them etc. So I have decided I need to distance myself for a while, to politely let them know they are crossing lines and that I wont participate in the childish behavior anymore, my only concerns are a) my children will be missing out as these are our only family members and b) I am concerned about the fall out and that my husband will not be sportive because well their his beloved family :/
overbearing in-laws?
overbearing in-laws?
Posted in:
Life Lessons
3 Replies
I agree with you, you need to stop answering the phone! If anyone messages you, don't reply. Only reply to messages that are acceptable. It is not ok for them to do this. Talk to hubby, tell him how much it is upsetting you, and tell him, he needs to set some boundaries. He needs to start running interference and telling them what is acceptable and what isn't.
Your kids need a happy, sane Mum. So don't feel guilty, no child ended up in therapy because they didn't see grandma for a few months or whatever it ends up being, but mums do end up having nervous breakdowns due to being bullied! Hubby can take the kids to see the family if it's that much of an issue.
Bloody inlaws & bloody husbands who 'can't see it' or who just refuse to stand up for their wife & kids over the beloved parents! Sorry, no real advice except to make other close friends to be your 'family' ... As u can tell I have similar crap here!
I would block them from harassing you on facebook. I would sit down with your husband and see if he is venting to them or complaining to them, (they might feel like they are defending him if he is complaining to them about you), your children can visit with hibby while you have some space. I would show your husband the messages and have a serious talk about boundaries with him. You and hubby go to some counseling if he is telling them things etc this will help you stay a united front and give you and hubby help to set new boundaries.