Hey there IM's, just looking for some advice, I don't know what you'd call all over protective and anxiety I guess, I have real issues with leaving my son with anyone he's 14 months old, he's never been looked after by anyone other than my mum when I was working, now I'm just a full time mum and my mum isn't able to look after him at the moment. I'm happy looking after my son everyday, that's not the issue, but other important people in his life ask to look after him to give me a break and spend time with him and I just can't bring myself to allow it, I worry about what's going to happen when I'm not there, what if he hurts himself or misses me or needs me, anything really, I'm due with another boy in 7 weeks so he will need to be looked after when I'm giving birth but I can't help but stress about it. I haven't even considered day care because I worry, what can I do?
2 Replies
Small steps. It is normal to be nervous especially the first few times. Choose one person, tell them you are nervous but know you need to get through this as baby is coming soon. Ask the person to come to the house, make sure things are child proofed before you go. Then go for a walk around the block. That is all just one little short 10 minute walk. Then build from there. It is about building confidence.
These days there are mobile phones in case of emergencies and just like any other child who might not have been left much, he will be fine. Other people can put bandaids on and kiss boo-boos, fetch drinks and snacks. In fact you can have all the snacks and drinks made before you go for your walk. I hate to say it and although your son loves you and you love him, people all over the world look after children, and it is not a unique special skill that only you can do. I know that is so hard to understand as a mumma, but it makes our kids feel awesome when they realise lots of people can make them feel safe and secure, and can get them things. It also makes you feel awesome that someone else can love and be as careful as you are with your precious baby.
I was the same and I found as the he y grow old enough to talk I felt better about it and especially when you see their enjoyment. Knowing numerous adults care for them boosts children in so many ways.
Since you have one due in seven weeks I would try to get it happening sooner. It's your fear you'll have to overcome, I'd say with experience. Keep trying, start small, leave him and walk around the block and come back.and build it up from there. Set it up so it's safe for him and you trust who he's with and where he is and then push your comfort zone a little. better to work to it now than throwing you both in the deep end when the time comes that you need it.