Hi ladies
Firstly, I am a massive fan of this forum! I love that everyone is so supportive of one another (unlike so many other forums) which is why I have decided to ask the sisterhood about 2 year old's & only children.
Long story short after a severe case of HG, my husband & I have decided we do not wish to have another child, the toll that this pregnancy took on me physically, mentally & emotionally was immense & I just cant bring myself to go through it again (Obstetrician believes next pregnancy would be as bad if not worse). Our beautiful little girl is almost 2 years old and has recently stated the "mine" stage. Is this something that ALL children go through or is this something more frequently seen in an only child?
I am so paranoid that I will fail her as a parent because I am not able to (mentally or emotionally) give her a sibling. She is in day care several days a week and socialised with other children of various ages so I feel like she is gaining enough stimulation and exposure to other children to learn the basics of sharing & appropriate interaction with other kids... I guess I am looking for tips from families who have decided that they only want one child & the ways that they have brought their kids up to ensure they are as well adjusted as possible in the long run.
Thank you :-)
8 Replies
I decided to stop at one for medical reasons. I also know a lot of only children. They are amongst the most caring, generous people I know. They are a long way off from being spoilt brats.
A lot of kids go through the mine stage wether they are singletons or from a large family. Because you are worried about it and don't see it as 'cute' she will get past this! She is only 2 and by no means is this a sign of what she will be like as a teen or an adult.
In fact I know kids from large families who are revoltingly spoilt!
It's how you raise them that counts. So as long as she has opportunities to share, doesn't get everything she ever asks for, and you teach her manners she will be more than ok.
Something I think ALL children could learn is how to save/wait for something they really want and the value of volunteering/helping others. Also how to be a member of a family, eg helping with jobs around the house and that parents are not personal slaves!
Don't worry mum, you've got this.
Thank you so much for your reality check & your kind words, it mans a lot! I guess being told that I am doing the wrong thing by my daughter (especially by my mother) has made me a little paranoid because all I want is the best for her. You are right, a brat can come from any sized family, it s all in how a child is raised & I am determined to not have a spoilt brat as a child so she will be fine. X
Your mum probably has forgotten what the toddler years are like. It was a long time ago for her.
The "mine" stage is developmentally appropriate; most kids go through it regardless of siblings or parenting methods so don't feel like you're raising a brat. It's normal.
I am also a "one and done" parent. I can't go through another pregnancy. I know a number of only children, and I know that our daughter will be fine. Siblings aren't a guarantee of well-adjusted kids anyway. Some kids never get along with their siblings anyway so don't feel bad.
Agree
Thank you, this is what I needed to hear. sometimes it's hard to know whether you're making the right decisions for your child or not but I feel like I am after reading your comments & realizing that she isn't "doomed"' like my mother seems to think she is for going through the "mine" stage! Thanks again for your support, I appreciate it so much
I forgot to add that the "mine" stage will probably be far less stressful without siblings. Haha!
She will be fine and you will too. I have two 'miracle" children, 18 years apart, both of whom should not be here according to medical science. So essentially both an "only child" in terms of not growing up with siblings. Both my boys went to daycare too, so they could socialise and learn to share and interact with our children, etc. The mine stage is perfectly normal and will soon be followed by the "but why" and "what's that" stages. Jut roll with it, try to not to stress too much over getting everything right, none of us do, and most of all enjoy your little girl. BIG HUGS xxx