My husband just got a vasectomy yesterday and although I was OK with it I feel sad, confused and lost about it. I have two kids with him, but he has another kid to a previous marriage, so he decided he didn't want any more kids. I told him that I may want more kids in 4-5 years, but he stated that he was getting too old (30) for more kids. I guess he is being reasonable as neither of us have high paying jobs. So I just left it and dealt with it. Deep down inside I really didn't think he would do it. I don't think we discussed this properly, he just sort of suggested it, and then it was done. I'm trying to be supportive of him, and help him during his recovery but I'm feeling hurt and don't want anything to do with him right now. I know I sound stupid, I've just had a baby so I'm still super hormonal.
I'm also concerned that it will change our sex life. My husband has not had much sex drive to start off with and I'm worried that this will now make it worse. Right now I have no drive because I'm tired after chasing around two kids, but it will return and I'm concerned he won't want to have sex anymore.
4 Replies
Vasectomies do not change sex drive! He may be more up for sex because he won't have that fear of getting you pregnant. It's natural for some people to feel a little sad when the decision is made for no more kids and if your hormonal anyway that wouldn't be helping. At the end of the day you know deep down inside that he has done the responsible thing and you wouldn't want him to have more kids if he didn't want them anyway. I made the decision to only have one and even though I knew it was the right choice (I carry a gene that I'd passed on to my first child leaving him severely disabled) I still cried the day I had my tubes tied and fealt sad for a bit whenever I saw babies! I got over it though and concentrated on the lovely boy I do have. If you don't feel yourself coming to terms it's probably a good idea to seek counselling.
My hubby got one at the beginning of this yr I did feel
Alittle sad when he got it done due to the fact of no more babies but also am happy to not be on birth control I wanted to have more kids but he didn't and after our 3 we have I was happy to accept his decision
This is a problem that was a big contributor to my marriage break up years ago. He was certain he didn't want any more than the 2 we have... I wanted another.. He went ahead and the army paid for him to have it done no questions asked, no counseling. I felt like he stole my fertility away from me. But what's done is done... I can understand how you feel. The option will never be there for another now. A reversal is expensive and doesn't guarantee a baby
Vasectomys don't affect the sex drive. My partner has had one and his sex drive is fine. (3-4) times a day. We both agreed on the decision as we both have children to previous marriages (none together) and new it was the right thing. My only advice is help and support him through this time, I'm sure he is confused and worried as well.. Good luck.